So exp left me for OW just before christmas - was devestated, we were about to buy a house etc but it all seemed completley normal to him and i realised, following him leaving, i had been the victim of domestic abuse - was glued to my phone day in and day out in case he text and i needed to reply/answer his calls straight away, helped him when he needed money (to the tune of 10000s) and basically was at his beck and call.
We had 2 DCS together - following ongoing harradsment - him locking me in a room with him and the kids and not letting me comfort our children, forcing me to read his suicide notes (blaming me for all his problems) turning up at my house as and when he pleased and even bringing OW to my house and laughing when they saw me through the window to name a few things.
He has had no contact with DCs for 5 months - kept saying he would come see them, then cancelling because OW needed to be picked up from work and still sending abusive messages daily - me and the DC have moved house now and EXDP doesnt know where we are.
He is going round to all who will listen to tell them how i am crazy etc and have stopped him seeing kids because i am jealous of his relationship with OW etc (not the case - this was the third time he up and left me for OW and most definitley the final time) he has been told by the Police and SS he needs to see a solicitor to go through the family courts to arrange contact with our DC (who are both under 2- and i should add there have been historic incidents where DCs have been injured/subjected to his abuse which i am deeply ashamed of and SS have said that i have done everythinf i can to protect our DC at this stage and are not taking it any further).
The problem i now have is he SS left my mobile number on their report and he rings constantly - again i have reported this to the Police but they have 0.interest- but today i got caught out and my DC answered a phone call from.a witheld number which happened to be him.-
DS was so happy speaking with his DF, i then recieved a barrage of texts asking if i would allow him.a phone call everyday so he could speak with DC (DD isnt speaking yet)
I am also feeling under pressure from.all.his family to allow him contact with the DCs (despite his family members lying to me.about the whereabouts of our DCs whenever they have had them - they dont have them anymore) and his fakily have expressed concerns about EXDPs temper around our DC so i feel like i am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I did tell EXDP to arrange contact via a contact centre but he does not wish to do that as he is a good parent?
I have also recently recieved threats to kidnap pur DC from OW and, as i am.sure you can appreciate, my anxiety levels are through the roof and i am stuck as to what to do now for the best?
Obbiously now.OW is also pregnant and he is the perfect DP.and an amazing DF apparently (sorry i dont mean for that to come accross as rude) but it really does upset me at times as he put me through hell in my second pregnancy as he was adament he didnt want anymore DC and i even ended up with concussion at one point (what his redeeming qualities were, im not sure, i think i just longed for him to love me and wanted to be a family unit)
So what should i do regarding contact arrangements for our DC? I dont want to be bullied into doing anything i dont feel is safe for our DC however, i also dont want to deprive our DC of their Dad.
Thanks for reading!
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Divorce/separation
Can someone please talk some sense into.me?
10 replies
Mrtumblesspottybag10 · 30/04/2018 22:11
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