Hes started a smear campaign

[Harry2006]

Hi all. Just want a bit of support/advice really.

I have started divorce proceedings against my controlling and verbally abusive husbband this week as he accused me yet again for having an affair. I have never given him any reason to think i have been unfaithful and have never had an affair. The final straw was when he told me he felt like 'smashing my teeth down my throat'.

My problem is this. He has now told his family and friends and anyone who will listen that we are divorcing because of my alleged affair which is not true. WWYD?
I have written a letter but not sent it to his sister telling them a few truths about his behaviour, partly to make it clearer in my head as to why i am divorcing . Would you send it or let it lie.

[Woshambo]

I'd send it. She probably knows what he's like anyway. It seems like it's bugging u and it would bug me too so I'd send it.

Ppl like him don't change. They convince themselves something is true without proof then live by it.

Or he's just a vile liar. Either way u will feel better telling someone ur side of things.

[dangermouseisace]

I would send it. I wouldn’t necessarily expect to hear back from her though. Only because I told my in laws the truth and they blanked me, so I guess that happens sometimes.

[Aprilmightbemynewname]

When your divorce comes through send them a copy. It won't give your affair as the cause will it? They can't argue with a legal document.

[Namethecat]

On my divorce papers my ex stated I would have men in the house to have sex with then ( not true ) for a lot of them they have to justify why a woman would leave such a perfect specimen of a male such as themself !

[Talith]

If you do send it just be aware you are getting into what could be an endless game of rebutting his accusations to others. It might be better to just get a frame of mind where you accept he will be talking bollocks and ignore it - those closest to you and him will know what he's like.

[dangermouseisace]

well at least what he's put in the divorce papers sounds completely ridiculous/implausible.