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Spousal support

(19 Posts)
loulou200 Thu 26-Apr-18 11:08:28

So my husband as decided to leave the marital home after 21 years of marriage to be with a woman that, it turns out, he's been having an affair with for 6 years. We have 4 children ages 19,18,13 and 4. We have no assets that need dividing, however I will no longer be able to continue in my job role as it involves unsociable hours and, as he's decided to move 10 hours away, I will have no one to care the younger 2 children, thus meaning my earning will, at best, reduce significantly. Will he have to pay me spousal support?

OP’s posts: |
kissthealderman Thu 26-Apr-18 11:21:31

Are the oldest 2 no longer living at home?

And what kind of salary does he bring in?

To be honest spousal maintenance is pretty unusual in this country. Unless he is earning over 100k+ I would be surprised if it was granted.

Will he be paying CM and will you be keeping the marital home? Is there a mortgage on the home?

loulou200 Thu 26-Apr-18 11:28:20

The older 2 children at do still live at home, both working in low paid apprentiships. He doesn't earn a huge wage, maybe 30,000 although he does have other income that he does not declare. My income will be reduced to as little as 7,000 as I will only be able to work school hours and term time. He will pay child maintenance, amount to be agreed. I will be staying in the marital home as he is moving 10hrs hours away but we do not own our home anyway, we private rent. we have no assets to divide but I find it ridiculous to think that he can go and move in with this other woman, enabling them to be financially secure whilst I'm rapidly going through my savings to keep our heads above water!

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kissthealderman Thu 26-Apr-18 11:32:35

I'm afraid at 30k and with child support to pay I doubt you'll receive spousal maintenance unless it's a tiny amount. sad

loulou200 Thu 26-Apr-18 11:34:12

seems incredibly unfair. But thanks for the reply.

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kissthealderman Thu 26-Apr-18 11:40:57

Could you afford to take him to court?

If he is bringing home only around 2kpm I think he could argue that after child maintenance he would not be able to support himself if he paid spousal also.

Spousal maintenance is usually something that is considered when one party is a very high earner.

loulou200 Thu 26-Apr-18 12:00:37

I believe I'm in a position to afford the court fees yes. Would the court also take into account the money that he does not declare? That is often is excess of another 1000 an month?

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Xenia Thu 26-Apr-18 12:56:48

it's very unfair. I would almost be temkpted to dumkp all 4 children for 4 weeks on his happy little love nest and leave him and other woman to do all the children's washing and pay for everything right at the start of the schol summer holiday and say you will be back from your back packing trip to Australia in the Autumn and leave him to it

SayCoolNowSayWhip Thu 26-Apr-18 13:05:57

So he's been having an affair for six years and you have a 4 year old..??

Absolute cockwomble.

I agree with pp that you should dump the kids on him and hiw new woman over the summer.

Poor you, sounds horrific and so unfair on you.

LimeIce Thu 26-Apr-18 13:08:32

Yep. I like Xenia's idea

notapizzaeater Thu 26-Apr-18 13:10:18

Has he a pension ? Have you taken legal advice ? Not a long term solution but could your older kids pick up some of the childcare to enable you to keep working till you can get better hours ?

Have you put everything into to make sure you re claiming everything you can.

BertieBeats Thu 26-Apr-18 13:16:35

My partner had to pay 12p a year spousal maintenance. That was a few years back now when he was working part time (about £6,000 per year ). So ,that's 20% of what your ex earns but you're probably still looking at something ridiculously similar.

loulou200 Thu 26-Apr-18 13:41:50

I think the money angle is also about principle. Why should he be allowed to just walk away and pick up his life somewhere else without looking back. So yes our youngest was conceived during his affair. Clearly one woman was not enough! I have made it quite clear that the other woman will have nothing to do with our children, ever. I have now been told that he is moving 10hrs to be with her, scrape themselves some money together before both of them move back down here, all very well planned out it would seem.
The older 2 children work equally unsociable hours and long ones so it would be unreasonable to expect them to take care of the younger ones. I'm also nearing the end of a year long college course which is 12 hours a day once a week, its unlikely that I'll be able to complete that now. He's really screwed me over and I'd love to be able to repay the favour!

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MrsBertBibby Fri 27-Apr-18 07:13:25

Have you claimed tax credits / universal credits yet?

loulou200 Fri 27-Apr-18 07:35:45

I currently claim a small amount of tax credits anyway but haven't looked at anything else.

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MrsBertBibby Fri 27-Apr-18 08:04:55

Did you report his departure?

If you're not in a universal credit area, you should consider housing benefit too. CAB can help ensure you are getting everything you can.

Does he have pensions?

loulou200 Fri 27-Apr-18 08:45:32

He has a small pension but nothing of any significance. I have been in touch with council tax etc and housing benefit but on my wage I'm unlikely get any help in that front, another reason why I'm unlikely to say in my job. I simply can't afford too.

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northernglam Fri 27-Apr-18 18:30:39

I find that increased tax credits do compensate quite a bit for working less as also stuck with ex who took Job 2 hours away leaving me with between school runs hours only to work, 3 kids of whom 2 disabled. Had to rely on my mum to help out. Might get childcare tax credits if that's option. Depending on income an au pair can be a cheap childcare option if you have room. I also found i saved a good bit no having to pay for ex dh hobbies and organic food grin

northernglam Fri 27-Apr-18 18:31:21

Your older kids may qualify for 16-19 bursary

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