Hi,
First time here. Some background: been with stbeh 20 years, married 15, 2 kids (ds 12, dd 13). Over the years I’ve felt like I have 3 kids - stbeh one of them! He’s been dependent on me emotionally & it’s been hard. Each time (4 in total) I’ve built courage to say this & it to be over, he’s threatened and/or attempted suicide. The penultimate time he & I went for separate counselling & agreed to try again - for a while he was more independent but again slipped back. I’ve been hiding/trying for last 6-8months & living the lie of a good relationship (so believable it’s shocked him & no doubt others when they find out). It’s been so hard deciding whether to carry on pretending for the kids sake.
I decided that I couldn’t do this for another 20+ years so told him in as nice a way as possible. He threatened to commit suicide, I said I didn’t want that but wouldn’t physically stop him walking out - called the police to report his plan& they picked him up after a failed suicide attempt.
We are one week on, the kids know we are separating but he’s told them we will both stay in the house & be there parents. I’ve asked how this is separating but he says as it’s what I want & not his choosing he won’t leave the family house & kids, as it’s me instigating this I can leave if I want. Clearly I don’t want to leave my kids. I am more than happy to have the kids between us as he’s a good dad but I can’t see it working living together.
This week it’s been weird as most things are the same - washing & ironing each other’s clothes, grocery shopping, making meals, watching tv - so I’m feeling like he’s trying to keep me in the same position apart from sleeping in separate rooms.
We are seeing relate together later this week to discuss our different expectations- him wanting to live together, me wanting to separate from him & live apart.
I want the kids to be supported by us both as loving parents.
Any thoughts on making this work?
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Divorce/separation
Separating & stbeh wants to live together...
22 replies
Bluezoo41 · 23/04/2018 07:35
OP posts:
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