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Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

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Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Divorce/separation

Divorce, how to afford it and can he make me homeless.

28 replies

ReallyFree · 19/04/2018 12:36

The ex moved out last year to move in with the other woman after I basically told him I knew he'd been sleeping with someone else. I live in the flat we bought together. I'm unable to work due to my health and I'm on universal credit. He works full time and she also works. She has put her house on the market and he is now trying to force me to sell my home. Depending on who he talks to, he is pretending that they are not in a relationship. He is seeking legal advice to see if he can force me and is also threatening to file for bankruptcy.
Can he force me to sell and how can I afford to divorce him?

OP posts:

Report

fontofnoknowledge · 19/04/2018 13:20

You say ex. Is that ex husband or ex partner ? Married rights will be different.
Are there any children. ? When you say 'can't work' . Does that mean physically (or mentally) unable to do any form of remunerative employment or not able to work full time. ?
If not any work does the government agree . (Sounds harsh I know but trying to establish if your disability and lack of employed earnings are 'recognised' under Universal Credit and/or your potential to get a mortgage in the future.

Also, who pays mortgage at the moment ? Can you pay it in your own and buy him out ?

Too many unknowns to give reliable advice at the moment. Focus needs to be away from what he may or may not be up to and more focussed to what you are able to do.

StormTreader · 19/04/2018 13:21

"I live in the flat we bought together"

If you really bought it together then he owns half and hes within his rights to insist on either a sale or for you to buy him out.

juneau · 19/04/2018 13:33

Can he force you to sell as part of your divorce in order to recoup the half of the equity that is his? Yes, he can. It may be your home, but it was bought with his money too and if you're no longer together then unless you have DC that he has a duty to help house, then he can indeed force a sale.

ReallyFree · 19/04/2018 15:22

We are still married but he lives with her in her house. There is no mortgage and Universal credit recognise that I am unable to work physically and mentally. If we sell, it is virtually impossible to get suitable rented accommodation around here if you are not working. I would also have to live off my share of the proceeds as I wouldn't be able to get universal credits after the sale. Her home is worth double the value of my home and they could afford to buy somewhere else with that, whereas I will be unable to buy. So I could end up with dwindling money in my pocket but nowhere to live.

OP posts:

Whatthefoxgoingon · 19/04/2018 15:28

Very sorry but he has the right to his share of the equity of your jointly owned property. The other woman’s property is irrelevant. You could go to court but I can’t see you ending up with 100% and him with nothing.

MrsBertBibby · 19/04/2018 15:40

You really need to go see a solicitor for proper advice. How long were you together? Has he pensions etc?

ReallyFree · 19/04/2018 16:11

We were together 35 years and have 4 grown up children together. He has a work pension.

OP posts:

ReallyFree · 19/04/2018 16:13

I'm not really looking to get 100% I just don't want to be made homeless when he has a roof over his head and doesn't actually need the money to enable them to move on.

OP posts:

MrsBertBibby · 19/04/2018 16:18

In those circumstances, though, It's not impossible.

Get legal advice, please!

Bitchywaitress · 19/04/2018 16:27

Would somehow offsetting your rights to his pension gain you the house?

Can't really help but wanted to say it's terrible that he can just walk away from his vows like this. It is putting you in an awful position.

You need legal advice fast.

MrsBertBibby · 19/04/2018 16:38

Yes, his pensions can be offset against the equity.

It's also possible for W's needs to outweigh his entitlement. It is impossible to say on this information, so you really do need good legal advice, OP.

HollowTalk · 19/04/2018 16:42

Get legal advice asap, OP.

Would it be possible to buy a flat for half the value of your flat?

You will be entitled to some of his pension.

Are any children at home?

Flutist · 19/04/2018 16:59

The fact that they can afford to buy another property while you can't doesn't mean you're entitled to keep his share of the flat. Your inability to work and rent in the local area also doesn't entitle you to keep his share. If you have to move away to get rented accommodation and end up with "dwindling money" then it's tough. Sorry but he is entitled to make you sell the flat and take his share, and what happens to you after that isn't his problem. However, if the flat is on the market then you may be able to stay in it until it sells?

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 19/04/2018 17:07

See a solicitor. Your situation sounds complicated. You need clear advice based on your exact situation. It would be surprising if he had to give you 100% of the flat though.

ShesAYamEater · 19/04/2018 17:21

You need legal advice as others said. You need to know what his half if the equity is worth and what his pension pot is worth. You are entitled to half so theoretically if his pension is decent you could negotiate with the equity.
I've given my ex the house in return for keeping all my pension.

fontofnoknowledge · 19/04/2018 17:48

Hi Op, Agree with all the others, because of your own personal situation you really do need to see a solicitor or do some very very serious reading up on divorce proceedings and financial settlements. I don't know how academic you are , it's not at all easy but not completely impossible. Maybe look at Wikivorce.com to see if you can get an idea. Personally I would beg & borrow to have at least an initial interview and find out where you stand. Some Solicitors do a free half hour but it's not something all offer. Look around.

There are issues about his pension. Possible entitlement to spousal maintenance if he had supported you for a long time and of course housing.

Meanwhile you mention Universal Credit and not being able to do any work. On that basis you will be entitled to PIP which is not means tested. It's not a fortune but is there to be claimed certainly by someone disabled or longterm sick.

Feodora · 19/04/2018 17:59

On that basis you will be entitled to PIP which is not means tested

Certainly worth applying but receiving UC on basis too sick to work doesn’t automatically mean the applicant will fit the criteria for a PIP award. Criteria getting stricter (IMO harsher) too.

Feodora · 19/04/2018 18:03

Echo others you need legal advice. Know difficult to pay when on low funds but if u have any savings vital to spend on legal advice and get a court ordered financial settlement.

StormTreader · 19/04/2018 18:06

If you are married then you will be entitled to a share of his pension.
You may find when you start the divorce process through the solicitors that he will give you a bigger share of the equity of the flat instead of a share of his pension.
You wont be awarded 100% of a shared property though just because "they dont need it as much as me", sorry.

ReallyFree · 19/04/2018 18:26

It won't be possible to buy a place with my share around here. I need to stay in the area as this is where my support system is. If I am unable to go out for days, or I can't open something, I can call and I have good friends who are there for me.

OP posts:

Feodora · 19/04/2018 18:32

If not awarded all the house, as v likely, option would have to be private rent with equity (if you can give large amount up front private landlords might agree even if not working) then move over to housing benefit support once funds run out. Not nice I know.

Feodora · 19/04/2018 18:35

Should add, if your entitlement to his pension is enough to cover his half of the equity that is the other option of course. You really do need legal advice.

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CindyLouWhoo · 19/04/2018 18:42

You do need proper legal advice but I can't imagine you will not have to sell your flat. You should get half of his pension which perhaps you could cash and add together with sale proceeds to buy something? Her money/assets really don't come into it I'm afraid.

fontofnoknowledge · 19/04/2018 18:56

Another possible option is to put your part of house sale in with someone else and buy.
I have a friend in similar position last year. Was lucky and found 4 bedroom house where they were only in a two bed and needed more room. The fourth bed was a sort of annex so she has one bed kitchette and sitting room and shower room- and essentially own front door. They couldn't afford a Three bed move but with larger deposit from mums equity were able to have their extra bedroom, a cheaper mortgage and mum sees more of grandchildren without living on top of them. (Parents have Grandma on hand to keep eye on teenage grandkids)
Is that something you/they could consider with older children?

If not with family is there someone who would want to have company and buy with you, that you could put your half in with? .

MrsBertBibby · 19/04/2018 20:31

Flutist

The fact that they can afford to buy another property while you can't doesn't mean you're entitled to keep his share of the flat. Your inability to work and rent in the local area also doesn't entitle you to keep his share. If you have to move away to get rented accommodation and end up with "dwindling money" then it's tough. Sorry but he is entitled to make you sell the flat and take his share, and what happens to you after that isn't his problem. However, if the flat is on the market then you may be able to stay in it until it sells?

I am guessing you have no qualifications or experience in Family Law?

Because nobody with any knowledge would boost that drivel based on the information available.

OP, I'm a family solicitor, I can't tell you your likely outcome based on so little info, but I repeat, you need to see an experienced family solicitor for detailed advice.

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