Spousal maintenance

[Fatarsesat]

Hi, I've name changed for this just in case.

My divorce is finally coming to a close 5 years after applying for one. We are at the point of sorting finances and I am wondering about spousal maintenance.

Stbexh has categorically stated many times to my solicitor that he refuses to pension share or give me a single penny because I sat on my fat arse after having children whilst he worked his fingers to the bone. This isn't quite true. What I did do was go part time working 3 days, whilst he worked full time over 4 days to enable us to have one day off together each week as a family day. We didn't need any child care doing this and saved a fortune. Child number 2 came along and during Mat leave (sitting on my fat arse) I decided not to go back to my bullying work place and took up a paid post within another branch of the same organisation where I would be trained to get a higher paid post once qualified. This meant a drop in income so 'DH' said he'd work one extra shift a month to cover the drop as he was able to do that. This would be for two years whilst I completed the course. The post required 2-3 days on the job or in uni and masters level work.
After the course finished I got a good job still working part time hours so we didn't need child care and still had quality time as a family with one day off together every couple of weeks or so.

Fast forward a year and he has an affair and leaves refusing to pay me a single penny.

Reality is he pays maintenance for our two children. However he doesn't pay for anything like school trips, uniform, school shoes or any non every day type purchases they might need.

I live in a rented house, he lives with his mum officially but we all know he lives with his gf and her 6 kids (2 are his).

He has a good job and on paper pays no bills except to his mum  He's driving round in a brand new top of the range luxury car and I'm on the bus. I don't mind too much about that but it restricts me with what I can do with the children and I see it as very unfair. (I can't afford to learn to drive and certainly can't afford a car). They have expensive family holidays at least twice a year, we go on day trips with the odd overnight in a budget hotel.

I'm currently not working as at home with a toddler (single mum) but will go back to work in a few months. Even once working my income will not be enough to enable a car and fancy holidays two or three times a year.

When together we had a family car and a couple of holidays a year but lived rather modestly as had lots of debts which have now been paid off.

I've heard about spousal maintenance but don't know if I'd be a cheeky bitch to try and claim it.

Has anyone claimed this successfully? Would I be entitled? I just get annoyed at the inequalities between us.

[Calaisienne]

SM is usually only awarded after a very long marriage and/or one partner has no chance to get to a position of supporting themselves (unless we are talking mega/ multi-millionaire rich).

You have been separated 5 years and supported yourself during this time, you are now not working because you have a toddler (presumably not your Stbx-husbands given the length of your separation). I think the chances of you getting SM are slim to none.

Advice given assuming you come under England and Wales for legal purposes.

[waterSpider]

Uncommon but not vanishingly rare. No harm in asking about it. It could be for a limited time -- but don't get too hopeful unless he is a very high earner.
More likely you could get a share of any assets and any pension provision, if relevant.