Hi, I'm new to this forum so please be kind if I'm in the wrong subject board.
I'm hoping to answer some questions / receive some advice regarding options and outcomes in my situation.
I'm separated since 2015 , divorced for one year, two children 9 and 7 who spend about a third of time with dad (and new wife), there is a court order in place.
My children have long complained of how they are treated by their dad's wife (mostly) and their dad. Some things they said were worrying but I've always tried to not interfere with their parenting, so on the rare occasion when I protested about the children's treatment I was ignored, accused of just about anything under the sun or have been told my daughter, who is the oldest and more vocal is lying or manipulating me.
Immediately prior and following dad's wedding in December my daughter's complaints (and my son's but he's younger and softer) increased tenfold and I just couldn't handle the situation by myself. I ended up paying private therapy for my daughter. To cut the story short, two month on, the therapist (qualified and registered) gives me two phone numbers, Cafcass and MASH, she informed me that my daughter is being emotionally abused (no physical or sexual abuse suspected) by her dad and recommends that I should stop contact with their dad. Also, according to her I have a "duty to protect" my children therefore action should be taken.
Perhaps in a way it is is no surprise, but it is a huge shock none the less. I'm in overdrive trying to figure out what to do. What I have been able to find out is that I can't just stop the children visiting dad if there is a court order. I have asked the therapist for a written report, including her recommendations and I should receive it shortly.
The abuse would be emotional only, threats of oversized punishments and telling them they are worthless / bad and withholding affection.
Does anybody have any experience, knowledge of similar situations.
Should I go to Social Services or to Court or to both?
Does a psychologist's say so constitutes proof of abuse for the court or social services?
Do courts even stop visitation anymore? Last year, a presumption of contact with both parents was in place for all but the most drastic cases.
To be honest, from what I read, family courts are not exactly mother friendly at the moment and I am afraid of doing something in case my children end up in an even worse situation than to start with. On the other hand, it would appear that I have to "act to protect" my children or failure to protect could mean neither parent can provide suitable care in the eyes of the social services.
In any case, I have made up my mind that I will act to protect my children but as for how best to do that I am at a loss.
Thanks in advance if you reply,
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Divorce/separation
proven child emotional abuse
7 replies
somuchbetter · 12/03/2018 23:05
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