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Your mummy doesnt love you...

(12 Posts)
Missbarrburrito Mon 12-Mar-18 16:51:41

This is what my 7 year old daughter got told off her Dad over the weekend, she also told me he had said that I dont look after her.
I told asdured her I do love her and that daddy shouldn't have said those things.
He dad and I dont communicate, or should I say he just ignores anything I say. So I dont know what I can do, if anything, to stop him filling het head with this stuff....any advice appreciated...thanks

JudgeyJudy Mon 12-Mar-18 17:37:55

Just reinforce very positively that you love her and care about her. Don't say anything negative like her dad is wrong. You could say daddy has made a mistake. Buy her a wee thing like a bracelet with a heart on it or a teddy holding a heart. Tell her your love is in the heart so she knows it's always there.

JudgeyJudy Mon 12-Mar-18 17:38:41

And I'm, sorry you and your DD are dealing with this. flowers

Aprilmightmemynewname Mon 12-Mar-18 17:41:03

You start keeping a diary. For when your dd's head is a shed and you need to seek legal advice.
My xh told my dc I was a prostitute. They are nc with him now.
He is still unhinged.

RandomMess Mon 12-Mar-18 17:46:24

I would ask her "why do you think Daddy said that?" Obviously in a very gentle way, she doesn't need to answer but she does need to learn the skill of questioning what people tell her thanks

Missbarrburrito Mon 12-Mar-18 17:54:41

Thank you for your replies.
Im already keeping a diary as this isn't the first incident thats happened.

Aprilmightmemynewname Mon 12-Mar-18 20:08:30

Confide in a teacher, they are good at supporting and can be a good reference for you and your parenting should you need it.

Fitzsimmons Mon 12-Mar-18 20:12:17

I was in a similar situation to your DD when I was a child and it did leave me with very low self esteem for a long time. I'm wondering if you could make or buy her a friendship bracelet. Tell her it is to remind her that you love her and anytime she is told different she can look at it and remember how you feel. flowers

OutyMcOutface Mon 12-Mar-18 20:15:21

My mother used to do this to me. It’s emotional abuse. Call the NSPC.

Missbarrburrito Tue 13-Mar-18 21:54:47

I contacted nspcc who advised to keep a diary of events and het behaviour before and after contact with her dad...thank you for advice..

Branners33 Sat 17-Mar-18 17:49:46

Just wanting a bit of advice.
I left my sons father when I was 7months pregnant due to domestic abuse and worrying behaviour towards myself and my daughter. He then when on to terrorise me in my new home. After our son was born he took me to court for access and after a long process over 2 years of contact centres etc he got a day a week of contact. My son who is now three started nursery in January and I stated to his dad ( as he was given flexible days by the court to suit himself) that I wished our son to attend his set days. He disagreed as quite frankly he cant accept anything that is not on his terms. After a disagreement over this he has just stopped contact. It has been 8 weeks. I have tried to email and text but have had no reply. My little one is happy and settled and used to cry when he went to him and has shown no desire to see him as if he was upset I would definitely pursue it further. We have another baby on the way and he has a brilliant relationship with his stepdad. What I'm wanting advice on is would you pursue it further or let sleeping dogs lie? I must admit it's been much better for us as I'm no longer anxious at having to deal with him and the worry when my son goes to him but I'm trying to think what is best for my child. Thanks

Missbarrburrito Sat 17-Mar-18 19:05:55

It is a tough one as like you say you want the best for your child and having contact with his dad is the better solution. That said, however, you have shown you have tried for his Dad to have contact with your son but to no avail, so I would just let it be now and carry on with your life. If Dad makes contact in the future fine, but id make sure to let him know he cant just come in and out of his sons life as that wont be good psychologically. If Dad doesnt make contact and your son becomes old enough to ask questions tell him the truth, dont badmouth huis dad, let him make his own decision and show him you tried to get his dad to see him. Keep tghe texts and emails to show your son your tried your best. GL..xx

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