Feel like I'm going crazy(3 Posts)
Husband and I are going through some rough times. He is trying to improve, I have so much resentment towards him that I don't even want a hug from him. I have been thinking about moving out since last summer. I have two young kids and only work part-time at the moment. I am wondering if I am making a big mistake wanting to separate/divorce. He is telling me that I can't take any criticism and am too sensitive. And it is true, I do get defensive about a lot of things. I have many problems with him. It is hard to even summarize it all. He does very little around the house (including the typical man chores like mowing the lawn). He calls me names/disrespects me. He says all our problems are caused by my defensiveness/weirdness/craziness/sensitivity, which basically shuts down any conversation. He gets so mad at my older child that I am afraid he is going to lose it and injure her. He is addicted to his phone. He told me I am "gaslighting" him. I didn't know what that meant, but when I looked it up, I started crying because it seems exactly like what he is doing to me. I am an emotional wreck. The reasons why I am still with him are the kids (don't want to take their dad away, don't like to be apart from them), I have no family in the States and my job is a 1000 miles away (working remotely now, because we moved for his job, because he hated his old job. Turns out he hates his new job too). I am so sad, tired and my brain feels like mush.
You don't have to stay. He Is not adding positively to your life.
It doesn't sound healthy at all. Go to your doctor and ask for counseling for domestic abuse and ask for confidentiality. Don't ever doubt your sanity and don't tell anyone you do, even if you do. Make sure you put all your efforts into becoming reasonably stable emotionally and start putting together your financial resources and evidence.
That's how the big break-away begins.
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