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Can he buy me out of the house if the consent order wording says:

(17 Posts)
Redandyellowbits Mon 26-Feb-18 23:46:54

Hi I’m am looking for some urgent advice.

I’m selling fmh and have a buyer in place. Today ExH said is he going to take me to court to overturn the consent order with a form A for variation, as he wants to but the house from me instead.

I am gutted as the house has been on the market for a while and finally it’s selling. I need a quick sale so I can buy for me and dc. He lives in the house and has signed estate agent agreement and has been facilitating viewings, playing the game until an offer finally arrived. The consent order wording is copied below.

If he can buy it I’ll sell to him to get it over and done with. But my understanding was that is has to go up for sale instead. He proposed the agreement in the first place and we both signed the consent order in December and this was signed off by a judge. Decree absolute is also finalised.

He lives In the house and is now obviously doesn’t want to move out. I will contact sol but I dont want the extra costs of it and I can’t sleep/eat/think straight in the meantime. Any advice would be appreciated.

Wording states:
The family home shall be sold forthwith on the open market by private treaty and the following consequential provisions shall apply:

a. The property shall be sold for such price as may be agreed between the parties on such advice given by the estate agents from time to time or in default of such agreement as determined by the Court.

b. Both parties shall have conduct of the sale.

c. The conveyancing solicitors shall be instructed as agreed between the parties and in default of an agreement as determined by the court

d. The property shall be offered for sale by such other estate agents as may be agreed between the parties and in default of agreement as determined by the Court

e. The proceeds of sale of the property shall be applied as follows:
i. in discharge of the NatWest mortgage secured thereon
ii. in payment of the conveyancing solicitors reasonable costs and disbursements in connection with the sale
iii. in payment of the charges of the estate agents to include VAT and disbursements.
iv. in payment of the balance: xx% to the applicant and xx% to the respondent.

It doesn’t explicitly say he can’t buy it does it?
Thanks for any advice x

OP’s posts: |
Onlymeeeeee Tue 27-Feb-18 05:49:19

I'm not a solicitor but the phrase that jumped out was "open market" so he would have to put an offer in that was better than the one received.
Is your concern that he will say he's buying and then stall?

LittleMissCantbebothered Tue 27-Feb-18 06:23:15

He can't overturn a consent order - they are binding and 'by consent' of both parties, having received legal advice. He can't just change his mind about the terms now. He needs to adhere to it - a consent order leaves him with no option as he's already made in choice by agreeing it in the first place.

Redandyellowbits Tue 27-Feb-18 06:30:07

He has agreed to sell on open market but always wanted the house. I refused to sell to him as this was not what was agreed in court. He was the one who suggested the proposal for court and I agreed with it and signed it off. (Very acrimonious)

Now he has waited till we have a buyer in place and said I need to refuse the buyers offer and sell to him or he will take me to court to get the order amended. Even if not successful it will delay the sale hugely. I am under time pressure as we are living in less than ideal conditions with my mum and I desperately need to move ASAP so we have space but also because dds high school applications are in sept and we live in a terrible area for schools so I need to be in a decent catchment area and settled. So he has really pulled the rug from under us.

So my only option is to sell to him ASAP if the court order allows.

I originally left him and the fmh and took our young children with me because he was violent and very financially abusive and so it’s a bitter pill to swallow to let him have the house I ploughed so much into whilst me and dds have spent the last 3 years struggling. But if it is to done I need to make sure it is ok by the court order for me to sell.

Struggling with his behaviour but I will accept that over time. The buyer for our house put in a lot of time and effort as did estate agents and I feel quite embarrassed to be letting the sale down st this stage, lots of people are impacted and he really does not care.

OP’s posts: |
Redandyellowbits Tue 27-Feb-18 06:32:52

He can't overturn a consent order - they are binding and 'by consent' of both parties, having received legal advice. He can't just change his mind about the terms now. He needs to adhere to it - a consent order leaves him with no option as he's already made in choice by agreeing it in the first place.

That’s what I thought and I wanted the fmh sold as per the agreement. But he insisted that as the agreement doesn’t state who buys the house then he can buy it off me and still be abiding by the order. If he challenges it it delays me for another year, and I have only just finished 3 years of divorce proceedings in and out of court with him with has been exceptionally difficult financially and emotionally. I need it all to stop for me and for my children.

OP’s posts: |
43percentburnt Tue 27-Feb-18 06:36:09

Is he likely to be able to afford to buy it and capital raise to buy you out?

NameChange30 Tue 27-Feb-18 06:42:39

I suggest you call the free Rights of Women Family law helpline.

Given his violence and financial abuse, and the fact that the children are with you, I’m surprised you didn’t get an occupation order so that you and children stayed in the family home and he lived elsewhere while the divorce and house sale were in progress. Anyway, that’s by the by now.

He’s doing this on purpose to sabotage the sale, obviously. I suggest you get the legal advice (via the helpline and your solicitor too if necessary) and if at all possible, press on with the sale to the buyer you have found.

Btw, the order does say that if you can’t agree then the court will decide, so you might have to go back, but hopefully it will be quick - see what the solicitors say.

Good luck.

NaiceBiscuits Tue 27-Feb-18 06:47:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsBertBibby Tue 27-Feb-18 07:41:07

No, he can only change the order if he can get permission to appeal, permission to appeal out of time, and then successfully appeal. For which he will need grounds, not just "I've changed my mind"

An order for sale cannot be varied, unlike, say, a maintenance order, so his form A is doomed. Seek costs against him on that application.

If he has a mortgage offer to buy out at a figure you will accept, and satisfactory terms on costs of sale, then you can agree to that. Otherwise, cross apply for the Judge to sign the sale documentation in his stead, plus an order removing him from the property if he continues to stone wall. Seek costs against him.

Redandyellowbits Tue 27-Feb-18 07:45:24

He r skins he already has a mortgage offer in place and can complete in 4 weeks. It’s a huge betrayal as the house has been on market for 3 months and he has willingly played along to get to this point to sabotage the sale. I need the quickest and cleanest option really.

My solicitors are terrible - very money grabbing and served me badly during the proceeding. Encouraged court and litigation where, in hindsight, it was very over the top and I wasted a lot of money with them. My divorce has cost me over £100knin bills which I borrowed and am paying back to family. I don’t ever say that number out loud as is terrifying but it gives you an idea of what they were like. I don’t ever want to speak to them again.

OP’s posts: |
Rainboho Tue 27-Feb-18 07:47:09

MrsBertBibby is the one to listen to.

In my case, my consent order is very similar to yours, but it states that I can buy ex out of the fhm at time of sale if I wish (at market value), but that he can only consent to sale, not buy me out.

NameChange30 Tue 27-Feb-18 07:49:38

Did you ever speak to Women’s Aid? Citizens Advice?

Victims of domestic abuse can often qualify for legal aid.

Nothing to stop you changing solicitors and the above two organisations might be able to give you a list of suitable ones (ie with DVA experience).

MrsBertBibby Tue 27-Feb-18 08:23:32


Bloody hell. That shouldn't happen unless you're Paul McCartney.

NameChange30 Tue 27-Feb-18 08:40:40

Info here about how to complain about your legal bill:

Redandyellowbits Tue 27-Feb-18 12:13:24

£100K? Bloody hell. That shouldn't happen unless you're Paul McCartney
A failed s37 application which I lost. When I finally reached an agreement the solicitors had me write to them to confirm it was against their advice and they would recommend I bring charges against another involved party too. I drew a line and refused.

I don't qualify for legal aid. Women's aid just said I need a solicitor and they can advise. I've called Rights of Women for months and left voicemails and never got through or heard back.

I am done with it all and just want to sell him my house and move on.

I have informed the estate agents that there was a delay, they have spoken with exh and its now been pulled from the market, so I will be selling it to him at the price he suggested. Thank you for your help.

I know there is much more I can do to fight back and secure more, etc etc but I did this for a long time and it's now time for me to move on and live a happier life without him. The divorce process sucks and is hugely unfair on women, and does not recognise either the cost of children, or the impact they have on earning capacity or the sheer stress the justice system places on families. I am glad to be out of it.

He ripped me off to the tune of over £100k by withholding my earnings from me, and clearing out bank accounts etc, but at least I can now start my life without him. I am 43 and still have lots of years of freedom ahead.

I only ever left the marriage after Mumsnet helped me to see how his violence and control was not normal and not ok, so I always come back here in times of need and reassurance. thank you all.

OP’s posts: |
NameWithChange Fri 02-Mar-18 21:34:53

Onwards and upwards @Redandyellowbits. You deserve some peace now and a lovely husband free future. Here's to you wine

serena5610 Sat 03-Mar-18 03:16:04

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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