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London based lawyer for divorcing a covert narcissist?

(32 Posts)
PinkStripes7 Mon 26-Feb-18 21:33:22

Can anyone please recommend a London based lawyer who is familiar with narcissism (specifically covert)?

wobytide Mon 26-Feb-18 22:56:07

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/littlebritain/characters/mann.shtml

MrsBertBibby Tue 27-Feb-18 07:42:37

You just need an experienced family solicitor who isn't scared of a scrap, OP.

What part of London?

PinkStripes7 Wed 28-Feb-18 11:22:27

Central London would be ideal...

MrsBertBibby Wed 28-Feb-18 15:00:10

Central London generally means very high charges.

But if you can afford it try Family Law in Partnership in Covent Garden, they are excellent.

southbailey Wed 28-Feb-18 15:04:50

Crisp and Co were brilliant for me.
They dealt with my narc ex.

PinkStripes7 Wed 28-Feb-18 20:42:41

@MrsBertBibby and @southbailey- thank you.

What were the fees like roughly? Would you recommend anyone in particular?

MrsBertBibby Wed 28-Feb-18 21:12:30

No idea what FLIP charge, I just know they're good. I charge £230 an hour as an outer suburbs type, so you can just call them and ask. I imagine It's well over £300. Here's a table of guide rates, although individual solicitors can charge you whatever you contract to pay them.

www.gov.uk/guidance/solicitors-guideline-hourly-rates

Ilovecrumpets Wed 28-Feb-18 21:18:04

I found central London solicitors usually 300-360 an hour. And always remember to add in the VAT!

southbailey Fri 02-Mar-18 09:27:19

You don't even want to know what I've paid over the last 2 years, it's obscene, but I have felt safe and supported and understood by my solicitor all the way through and they got me what I needed which I doubted would be possible at some points!

serena5610 Sat 03-Mar-18 04:13:49

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PinkStripes7 Sun 04-Mar-18 21:03:35

Thanks for information, all.

A little nervous about possible fees mounting up. Is there a rough estimate of what to save for legal fees?

Familylawsolicitor Sun 04-Mar-18 22:04:11

It really depends on your assets. If there's lots of money in the family pot go for a central London lawyer. If not you would probably get better value in the suburbs.

How much you spend depends on how much you can agree. If everything was completely agreed between you then you might only need a few hours of time to get a financial deal into a legally binding agreement and you could do the divorce bit yourself. Otherwise negotiaions and advice on disputes are charged by the clock at hourly rate and how much time will be spent is like asking how long is a piece of string. Don't be afraid of court proceedings with a narcissist who loves fights. At least there's an end point eventually to court.

Go and see a solicitor and get some ball park estimates of the various stages.

thisishard2 Mon 05-Mar-18 06:05:19

I have been going since June 2017 and have already spent between 12 and 13K. And it's not over yet shock.

MrsBertBibby Mon 05-Mar-18 08:04:46

The last case I did that went to trial amounted to around £38K including counsel's fees and all disbursements. That was at outer London rates, with no additional hearings (just FDA, FDR, and trial) but a lot of dicking about by the husband, and him instructing an atrocious solicitor..

I guess central London rates would push that to £50K or more.

Don't pick a central London lawyer on the basis they are easy to get to from your office, that is a real false economy!

southbailey Mon 05-Mar-18 14:22:22

I think MrsBertBibby is right about false economy.
I went with who I went with on the recommendation of a friend, and also because it made it easier to go and see them when I was at work in London. BUT , bearing in mind we are not through yet - still got to get the consent order etc - I will be at 60k having only been to court for one FDA on a children matter. The rest was correspondence - and having to get them to deal with his shitty, narc attitude esp re the children at the beginning.
Assets in the pot make this worth is (hmm) but were it a different situation I would be bankrupt!

RockPaperCut Mon 05-Mar-18 16:27:12

To give you an idea of cost, since November 2017 I’ve spent roughly 45k, correspondence, multiple hearings for child arrangements with the final due soon. FDR then most likely FH for finances. I’ll be very lucky if my costs come in under 70k.

PinkStripes7 Mon 12-Mar-18 14:12:16

These figures are terrifying! Are they routine?

percy1979 Mon 12-Mar-18 14:40:46

I am also in London - these costs are terrifying.

MrsBertBibby Mon 12-Mar-18 16:01:37

Most cases settle if people aren't being ridiculous, but getting divorced can be bloody expensive.

MissTeBe Mon 12-Mar-18 16:03:10

I’m in St Albans and the fees are still £400 + vat per hour

Divorce is hideously expensive

MrsBertBibby Mon 12-Mar-18 16:05:54

£400 an hour outside London is stupid money.

I'm South London at £220. Although I could justify £250.

Bloomed Mon 12-Mar-18 16:06:06

I'd get a personal recommendation and as other wise pps have said, not central London. Then try not to engage with him yourself too much.

JudgeyJudy Mon 12-Mar-18 18:21:47

Sorry, I have no advice. I'm just wondering how your STBExDH's narcisism manifested itself. I think mine may be too.

RockPaperCut Mon 12-Mar-18 18:47:19

My fees are £275 plus vat, outside London. Divorce is relatively cheap, if you’re both reasonable.

In my case, STBX refused to engage for months. Promised there’d be nothing left when he was done, he’s the type that thinks he’s entitled to keep everything, as he’s worked hard for it. Forgetting my contribution raising his dc, then suddenly he wants full residency due to my mental instability hmm once he realised that he could reduce his financial obligations, if dc live with him full time. I had little option but to take it to court.

Mediate and keep it out of court if you’re able to but if your ex a narcissist it will be nigh on impossible to keep it out of court. People like this do not concede on anything.

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