I have recently asked for views and advice about when me and STBXH get to see DC and got great advice and lots of food for thought.
I am recently separated (just over a month) and I have DS 10 and DD 13. STBXH is almost blind and lives too far from the school for DC to stay over on school nights so he sees them mostly weekends. I am resident parent.
Next week I am going away for 4 nights, This has been agreed and arranged for 4 months, in writing and face to face. I reminded STBXH last week, and as I suspected, he had forgotten. The agreement was that he would stay in my house to look after the DC. His DM can no longer come down to help, so DD is taking the bus at 7.30AM when i am away and STBXH is quite resentful of how disruptive this is to his working week, but he does acknowledge that he had agreed to this and with a lot of preparation from my side it's all going ahead.
Now he wants to go away April 4-18. That's in the Easter break, and it means that I will have DC more than him as I already have them the first week of the holidays as my sister is visiting. Although I am pleased that I get to see DC a lot of the holidays, it does make it difficult for me as I will not be able to work as much as I need (I work from home). I had really hoped that he would have them all of the second week of this holiday, but he is only having them 4 days (Saturday to Monday) and this means that I will not be doing much work Tuesday to Friday (yes, they are older kids, and can look after themselves, but I do like to spend time with them when I see them).
So my grievance is that to me it's not right that I get so much hassle from him when I go away for 4 days but he is going away for 2 weeks and he expects me to comply. He also thinks that I can't go away during term time again as he doesn't want to stay in my house looking after DC.
I really don't want to argue over this, I don't want the extra conflict. How do I, going forward, come to some arrangements that suits not just him but also me?
I am NOT going to let him dictate when I go away, He chose to live far away from the school. But I want to get this message through clearly and in a non-conflict way. I am really struggling to keep my temper about this.
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Divorce/separation
Fair division of holidays
misscph1973 · 22/02/2018 14:41
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