Talk

Advanced search

Thinking of separating, advice needed please help

(7 Posts)
LkrmskW Wed 21-Feb-18 10:35:37

Im very new to this so please bare wih me!
Me and my husband are separating, we've been together 15 years and married for 6. We have 2 children 5 and 4months. We've tried to make it work for over 2 years now and just keep going round in circles. I think now separating is the only option.
We've tried councilling marriage guidance etc.

We jointly own the family home and everything is in joint names bills etc although we do each have our bank accounts.

We don't have any savings, all our money is in the house. Neither of us can afford to move out as we don't have the funds to do it, I think we need to sell up split the profit and go our separate ways, he has agreed he will pay generous maintenance each month to support the kids.

I just feel like i want to leave now get settled somewhere else and be independent, but am I selling myself short? Do I have to wait till the house is sold before I can find somewhere else to live? I think I'll need to rent initially and maybe buy again later down the line. I've considered getting a 0% credit card to fund a move and then pay it off when I get the money from the house, but I'm not sure if this is a good idea.

I'm also on maternity leave at the moment so my salary is reduced and reducing. My normal working hours are 31 a week, am I going to be able to go back to that as a single parent? I have done a benefits check and know what I'm entitled to, but when do I start claiming? I dont think i could afford to move and support myself and the kids without tax credits etc in place.

I have so many questions and am totally anxious and scared about my situation, but on the other hand excited about a new chapter on my own just with my kids.

Any help or advise would be really appreciated. Thanks. smile

OP’s posts: |
MarieG10 Wed 21-Feb-18 16:55:21

I think you need to get some advice. Depending on the overall financial situation it may be that selling and just splitting the house proceeds is not what the final settlement is. I'm no expert but will depend on a lot of things. I suggest you get you free 30 minutes with a solicitor and take it from there

LkrmskW Wed 21-Feb-18 19:29:58

Thanks for your reply, I've had several free sessions with solicitors and they have advised that I may be entitled to more, or that I may be able to stay in the family home, which is the ideal especially for the kids. However all our money is tied up in the house we have debts etc and neither of us are able to move out. My husband also sought legal advice and was advised that he would need to be able to have somewhere suitable to live so he can have the kids each week, and to be able to do that we'd have to sell up.

Rather than drag everything out and pay out for solicitors fees etc I think im happy to accept a 50/50 split, It's just how I go about sorting out somewhere to live now really 😣

OP’s posts: |
Miserableinmarriage Wed 28-Feb-18 23:27:36

Where you able to get any more advice on your situation? If I leave I will be in a very similar situation so interested to know how you got on.

Thegianttap Fri 02-Mar-18 16:54:45

I am also in a similar situation, albeit just a few days in. Husband has told me the only way we can separate is to sell the house. I'm in a state of turmoil at the moment.

serena5610 Sat 03-Mar-18 04:14:53

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

LkrmskW Mon 05-Mar-18 11:48:59

Haven't got very far to be honest. Same situ and not alot has changed. I did see an estate agent who said if selling the house it's best to wait till exchange of contracts before looking at renting any where else, and seeing a financial advisor this week, ideally would like to buy him out and stay in the house with the children but not sure I'll be able to afford it.

OP’s posts: |

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in