Apologies for lengthy message - I hope someone is able to help!
My ex and I separated in April. Amicable split and went through mediation. I ended the relationship however it was fairly mutual (we had been to councilling which didn't work for us).
Through mediation process I felt a lot of guilt (mainly because he and his family blamed me for the breakdown of the family (we have a 4yo). I was starting my own business and the potential of earning good money from it in order to support me and my son at our family home (with support from a loan from my dad). Ex moved into his old flat in December following the realization he had been dating someone since August. Good news is that this took away all my guilt. Bad news is that I now feel like I was too lenient when it came to agreeing finances (nothing court approved - just written notes from mediation at the moment).
Overnights stays are 50/50 shared. However mornings that he has our son he drops him to me at 8am for me to do the school run. With my job being flexible I am also able to pick my son up from school. On nights with my ex he will then pick my son up at 6.15pm to take him back to his flat (2 miles away).
In mediation we agreed that we would have a joint account for purchasing items for my son - each putting £100 each per month (this would pay for clothes, friends presents, school trips, half term/holiday trips (eg: farm/soft play visits during half term)etc). My ex then pays me £50 a month for covering the cost of food after school. (when this was agreed, he had a different job which meant he could take my son to school and pick him up at 6). I think the realisation is now kicking in that he may have taken me for a ride. I love taking my son to and from school and wouldnt change this for a second however should I be asking for more money to cover the cost of me not working through this time. Also over holiday periods obviously working for myself I can take the time off work to cover childcare. It is obviously a lot cheaper for us both if I can look after our son, plus again - I love having this time with him, however is my ex having it easy as he isn't paying or contributing to the childcare which I am supporting?
His solicitors are currently putting together a financial consent form and my assumption is that this will form part of it. I am not comfortable with the current arrangements but wanted some non-biased advice about my situation and if anyone has had anything similar?
Thanks :)
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Divorce/separation
Should I be asking for more Financial Support?
7 replies
private0307 · 12/02/2018 21:57
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