This could be a very long story but I will summarise. We have been here before - breaking up over my husband’s possessiveness and resulting silent treatment for up to a week. However, I put up with it as he has always been a great dad and our two daughters had a great relationship. HOWEVER, now girls are older he does the same to them with the manipulative comments and stone walking them, most recently with Our 16 year old as she is starting to socialise with friends more.
We had an explosive row and I told him I was leaving and girls were coming with me and he said “no, easier for me to go and find somewhere...” I told him he didn’t need to go that night etc
My 16 year old was very happy, asked me if we could afford our own home etc (which we can). my older (21) year old was like “you were splitting up years ago, I’ve heard it all before and anyway you can’t leave him on his own, he is nearly 70....” He is 15 years older than me.
Anyway, The day after Big row, he came home early from work, we talked and he said he didn’t want to split up “I don’t want to be sitting in a one bed flat on my own...” and he apologised for being unreasonable (row was about me being out with my friend for her birthday, going back to her house and coming home at 3am - nothing untoward, we had some drinks with her husband and kids and a laugh, lovely family, made me think this could never happen in my home!). Anyway, my 16 year old due to go away with school 2 weeks from this and I didn’t want upset so I just said “ok, let’s see how it goes”.
My 16 year old was very cross when she came home to hear we were “trying” to work it out. The anger from her towards me was so upsetting.
I have been in touch with my GP and relate regarding counselling but have not discussed with husband yet as didn’t want to cause any more arguments until my daughter went away and she went today.
I discussed all with a friend who went through a split and relationship counselling (they ended up splitting) and she said one thing they will ask you is “when did you last have fun together” - I couldn’t answer that and my daughter said to me “you are staying with him out of pity because of his age, you only get one life mum...”
We live like “friends”, haven’t had sex for 6 years and don’t even cuddle/kiss but it’s not that I even feel I want another partner but we have totally different interests and he doesn’t really have any friends, just his cousins and then he gets the hump if I see my friends.
Do I stay with him so he isn’t on his own or leave him so I and Our daughters can enjoy life without treading on egg shells and being given silent treatment - my girls have said they will leave home ASAP because of him.
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Divorce/separation
End of the road?
6 replies
bem19 · 10/02/2018 20:27
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