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Solicitor - is this normal procedure? Or Ex gas-lighting?

(5 Posts)
Monny Thu 08-Feb-18 23:13:21

To be brief (because this is a very long winded divorce), my ex* has finally let us get to first draft of the consent order. You can only imagine the foot dragging involved.

Ex now appears to have an actual solicitor who has reviewed the Consent order. Rather than tell me about the changes, they intend to send those changes directly to my solicitor before I get to see them. I said no, I want to see them first (my ex also pre-agreed to this). Is direct between the solicitors standard (as my Ex is suggesting)? I'm not sure what to believe as Ex is a great one for gas-lighting.

I suspect it should come to me as my solicitor gave me the Consent Order draft which I gave to my ex, not to Ex's solicitor.

Plus if Ex's solicitor liaises directly with my solicitor, it sounds like a great way to escalate costs, or AIBU? Ex earns a lot of money, I don't.

Also, Ex says if it cannot be done directly through the solicitors, he will have to cancel his contract with his solicitor and handle it all by himself. And that does sound like him doing his gas-lighting things.

Thank you for your help!

* after c. 2+ years (I've stopped counting) so STBX is a little too optimistic.

Stellarbella Thu 08-Feb-18 23:17:08

If both sides have solicitors instructed, then correspondence, including draft consent orders, ought to be between the solicitors. It may increase costs, but it is much more likely to lead to a speedy resolution of the issue.

Familylawsolicitor Thu 08-Feb-18 23:23:18

If you have solicitors instructed your ex's solicitir cannot write directly to you. It is a breach of professional conduct to write directly to another solicitor's client.

Familylawsolicitor Thu 08-Feb-18 23:25:26

You can instruct your solicitor to say "we are just advising in the background and are not instructed to correspond with you, please correspond with Monny direct"
You can also ask your ex to send you a copy of the letter his solicitor writes to yours as soon as your ex has approved it to go.

Monny Thu 08-Feb-18 23:38:33

Thank you so much! I appreciate your help. I am never quite sure when he is messing or playing straight. I shall happily let the solicitors do their correspondence thing.

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