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Advice please

(4 Posts)
zzajde Thu 08-Feb-18 00:35:18

I would like to leave my boyfriend, we private rent a property in both our names and we have a 6yr old together. But i need advice and help on what steps to take. His plan (which hes explained before) is if we break up, he would fight for full custody, his mother would quit her job to care for 6yr old. So he could still work and he would try his hardest for me to never see her again. Because he sees it as im quitting the family not me leaving him as a couple. Whereas i would never stop him from being a father. Hopefully have a plan in mind so we can both see 6yr old fairly and we can both still work. I would prefer if i have the house with 6yr old and he move out as after we broke up before he agreed if things go badly again he would move back in with his family, plus i've moved away from mine so he can be near his. But i know he wouldn't allow this and fight for the house. Is there any places i could go to for advice? Any housing places? Income advice? Anything at all? Thanks in advance

Whatiwishfor Fri 09-Feb-18 00:00:40

Hi there, dont worry hes talking rubbish saying he would stop you seeing the child, that really isn't going to happen. What have you done up till now? whos cared mainly for the child? You can go to cab, their very useful and of course free.

Tbh and this is just me, i wouldn't fight for a house that was rented, its just not a fight that's worth fighting. Find yourself and your child a nice little place that's solely yours. I don't know anything about your financial situation but look into the benefits you can claim. I hope you don't mind me saying, but this sounds as if its going to get nasty, get out get as self sufficient as possible as quick as possible. If you genuinely believe he may try to keep your child contact a solicitor asap as i think (may be wrong) but unless you have a court order its difficult to get then back as you both have pr. (is his name on the birth certificate?) Cos if its not i dont think he has PR so this may well be different.

zzajde Fri 09-Feb-18 20:25:27

I do fear that it'll happen. I think thats why its stopped me so far. I have always taken care of the child, always fed, taken to and from school. Make sure the house is clean, bills are paid etc. Its always been solely me. I work two jobs, one which is when daughter at school and the other is evenings and weekends. I would have to change work around which im happy to do so for her. I would leave my second job and just work my contract of 15.5 hours per week.
I do need to look for a house for myself but i wouldn't be able to afford that big lump sum of money and i have no family to help. Would have to look into benifits.
It does feel as though its going to get nasty so don't worry about saying it. Yes his name is on the birth certificate. How much woulf it cost to see a solicitor? I would like to know what rights i have for all of this. Thankyou so much for replying!

Whatiwishfor Sat 10-Feb-18 00:31:15

What a horrible thing for someone to make you fear! I think you can get a free 30min with a solicitor (take q list of questions in) or visit citizens advice bureau their really good to.

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