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Help needed separation pending

(5 Posts)
frenchfries22 Thu 01-Feb-18 10:18:12

I'm hoping I might be able to get some assistance.
We have been married for 10 years with two children one at school one young one. I am and have always been the main breadwinner and have a stressful full time job. We've been having issues for years but I have kept going due to the children. DH got a full time job last year and I was delighted thinking that our finances would improve. I have lots of debt. DH pays for nursery fees and that's it. I pay for everything else rent, bills, debt repayments. I recently found a payslip of his and was devastated that whilst I am struggling to manage everything he is left with a significant amount each month and is not offering to help repay any debt etc.
It's all come to a head and we agree it needs to end.
I don't know how I could keep my job going on my own. I won't be able to afford nursery fees and have no family to help out with childcare. I work shifts so normally one of us would do drop off and pick up. Have other families managed this? Do you just carry on but in different houses? If I left my job for a more flexible job closer to home I would not be able to manage my out goings, I nearly scrape through as it is. I'm at a complete loss as to how to do this and this is one of the reasons it's taken so long to get to this stage. Anyone gone through something similar or any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

OP’s posts: |
Pleasebeafleabite Thu 01-Feb-18 18:47:53


Sorry to hear about your troubles. Have you actually taken steps to find out what your position will be so for example

Make an appointment with CAB to run through what additional tax credits you might get as a single parent

Take some pre-emptive legal advice as to what you might get as a division of assets and maintenance award. At least go on the CMS calculator to see what you might receive.

Try wikivorce as well there is a calculator on there

It all seems very daunting but it might not be as bad as you think. Once you know the position you will be able to work out if you can separate houses or need to leave it a bit longer

I don't blame you though. What sort of man would let you pay all those things on your own. The bad news for him is that its all one common pot now on your divorce

frenchfries22 Thu 01-Feb-18 23:20:25

Thank you so much for this helpful advice, I will take a look now .

OP’s posts: |
1959free Sun 04-Feb-18 20:50:49

My wife of 34 years has asked a solicitor to apply for a divorce. I'm nearly 59 and I took early retirement from work in April of last become her carer. our home is mortgage free. Children grown up and have family of there own. I have cancelled carers allowance due to this situation. My wife gets about £8300 a year in disability allowance and a mobility car. My pension from work is less than her benefits. Will I have to let her have any of this

1959free Sun 04-Feb-18 20:56:51

Also I'm paying for all the bills. gas, electricity, water, TV, licence, council tax, etc. Leaves me £30a week for my food. If I try to speak to her she rings police has done this 7 times since December 31 2017 and says I'm threatening her. We live in same property but in separate bedrooms

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