Hi,
I am looking for some advise please.
I have been with my wife for 9 years and have a 5 year old daughter.
Me and the wife are basically very different people and I don't think we are compatible. We love each other but everything is just constant bickering, nearly every decision and we don't see eye to eye on most things in life to be honest. I like to do fun things - she doesn't. She would be happy basically doing nothing in life other than clean the house and watch coronation street.
We have been in this rut for at least 3 years now. In the week we are parents (good parents)- we are not really a couple. At the weekends I feel like I am a single dad anyway as mostly its me and my daughter doing things together.
It's come to make a decision and I think it is the right one to end it - not for my sake, but my daughters. I know its going to be so traumatic on her but I am more afraid of carrying on like this and then separating when she is older as that could be catastrophic on her.
I struggle to see how this marriage can mend because we are different - I don't want to change and be 'boring'. I don't expect the wife to suddenly change and do things she really doesn't want to do.
My main focus on this decision is my daughter:
- I've thought about staying with wife until Daughter is old and leaves schoold but it can't be healthy listening to parents bickering daily (not arguing but constant disagreeing)
- I'm scared of trying again and again and it finally coming to an end when she is older as this will affect her more. This is not an overnight thing - its been a few years now.
From my points:
- If we separate I will be able to do the things I want to do such as camping with my daughter because she will be with me at the weekends.
- There is a chance there is someone more compatible out there (although currently last thing on my mind)
- I can come home without being constantly affected by her depression and moods.
- I will be back in control of my life - if I want to do something I will.
Negatives:
- Daughter being affected
- Missing my daughter when I come home from work - we are super close
- I will miss the wife because I still love her and want the best for her
- I will worry about the wife mentally
I'm just looking for some advise really and how to progress the decision. I don't want to make a decision I may regret.