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Advice please...

(4 Posts)
user1479246102 Mon 15-Jan-18 12:40:30

Bit of a background....I have 2 children 5 and 7 whos dad had an emotional affair and left a few years ago...we got a divorce and both been in new relationships for a while..me and my fiance have a 3 month old boy.
We are looking to move house soon as my ex is taking me to court to do so. Anyway..my fiance is in the army and has just been posted to a new barracks 2 hours away. My dilemma is should we all move together 2 hours away or should me and my 3 children stay around here??
If we move away my 2 primary aged children will need to change schools (which I was thinking about doing anyway as we have been having issues with that school) also moving them 2 hours away from their Dad, which he sees them every other weekend usually, but thats it...he doesnt see them during the week or any half terms.

If we stay here it means my fiance wouldnt get to come home much as he would be working sone weekends too meaning he wont get to be around our son in his first year and my other two children would miss him too.

Im going to speak to my 7 year old to see what her thoughts are on the situation but would like some of your thougts please too. If we were to move we would probably get married first so we could move into military accomodation and that will help us save for a better deposit for a house.

OP’s posts: |
Blodwyn1 Mon 15-Jan-18 13:25:16

Trying to get divorced but fighting over equity. I have a 16 year old who has no contact with her dad, her choice. He's not worked for over a year, claiming he's depressed. He says he won't be able to work in future unless its part time and without stress (his last job wasn't stressful). I'm working full time, renting, supporting our daughter, diagnosed with depression and anxiety, but don't have the luxury of giving up work or going sick.
He's saying he should have 75% of the equity because he won't be able to get a mortgage as he won't have a job that pays much. He's five years younger than me, I'm due to retire in 2 years so my salary will halve so my mortgage hope is limited. He's living in a huge house with parents and will inherit it. My daughter wants to go to uni so I've an expensive time ahead. Would a judge award him 75%? I've asked for 60/40 in my favour. Anyone else been in a similar position? Advice please!

lifeafterforty Tue 16-Jan-18 09:54:25

If you move 2 hours away how will you manage getting your older children to their dad every other weekend? Please don't discuss this with your children, they need to be children and not worry about adult matters. You need to resolve this with your ex without making the children choose. It's important for children to have a meaningful relationship with both parents and not made to provide input to adult decisions. Of course they don't want you to limit time with their dad.

user1479246102 Tue 16-Jan-18 21:01:25

I would take them to see their dad or we could meet half way...their Dad wont give me hos address of where he lives so he would probably meet half way...hes very controling. Im mot asking my daughter what she thinks I should do! Im just not going to break it to her a week before we leave....she has a right to know and although she is young she is still old enough to put her feelimgs across.

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