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Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Divorce/separation

Child support question

13 replies

lostheloveofmylife · 07/01/2018 06:46

Separated 4 years. Ex has generally paid the standard amount of child support for 2DC. Currently paying £625 per month, but £200 directly to DD1. He just got a new job- so I asked him for details to see if we need to change the amount / schedule.

He replied that according to the website calculation, he should pay £1000 per month. But that he wants to give £425 to me, £400 to DD1 (18) who is at university and £175 to Dd2 (15) I did the reverse calculation and this means he is earning about £75000.

For context, we both live in Canada, moved here 10 years ago for his work. 3 years ago he moved (not for work) 8 hours drive away and so only sees the DC every few months for a few days / week max.

He lives with his partner who is a doctor and her child, I live alone with the DC (DD1 away at uni) and earn £31000

Is his suggestion reasonable? The law where we live says that she should pay child support until DC are finished uni. The extra amount would make a big difference to me but I am not sure if it's worth fighting about.

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Poshindevon · 07/01/2018 07:29

What is there to fight about? Your ex partner appears to have been up front about his earnings so I dont see the problem.
Is there a reason you are not divorced after 4 years seperation ?

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lostheloveofmylife · 07/01/2018 08:05

Thanks for the reply. It's not the amount that I would dispute, but the fact that he wants to give so much to the dc as 'allowance' rather than to me for paying for housing, bills and food.

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sandgrown · 07/01/2018 08:13

Does your DC at uni not need the money for their food and accommodation or do they live at home? If they live away that sou ds a good idea but the allowance for the 15 year old sounds a lot for just spending money.

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lostheloveofmylife · 07/01/2018 08:23

Sandgrown no she has all her tuition fees, accommodation and food paid for. She currently gets £200 per month allowance and is managing very well on that- she is having a great time and came home at Christmas with loads of new clothes and makeup etc.

I agree that it's a lot of pocket money for a 15 yo. She currently gets £25 per month and has been working at a part time job and doing really well at saving up- I think this will be a disincentive to keep her job and I don't think that's a great message.

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DoItAgainBob · 07/01/2018 19:16

Who pays for all her uni stuff?

If you are housing DC1 when she is not at uni, I think the money should go to you, and a lesser amount to her.

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lostheloveofmylife · 09/01/2018 05:31

Her uni tuition, housing and food is covered by grants and loans based on my income as her permanent residence is with me. It's ridiculous - she'll be the richest kid on campus, while I'm struggling to pay the bills.

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beingsunny · 09/01/2018 06:02

Can you suggest he put the additional into savings for a car or something, that does seem like a lot for a teen to have to spend each month...

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lostheloveofmylife · 09/01/2018 06:32

Yes I was thinking along those lines, but to be honest I'm starting to get really angry about it- it's more the principle than the actual money - although don't get me wrong, I struggle to pay the bills and have bunch of debts that I am working really hard to pay off.
Im so frustrated by the fact that we have an agreement, which follows the government guidelines and he just decides he can change it arbitrarily and he thinks I'll just roll over and agree !

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Christmascardqueen · 09/01/2018 06:38

Those grants and loans will all need to be paid back in full with interest.

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cheesypastatonight · 09/01/2018 18:08

He should pay it all to you and you can decide how much to pass the time on to your doc. He doesn't get to decide that, it's meant to be paid to you and you decide how it is spent.
It's a form of control.

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Oswin · 09/01/2018 18:11

In the online calculation does it include dd1. He should give it all to you anyway and you can then decide what to did with it.

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Battleax · 09/01/2018 18:16

Could you try a "counter bid" suggesting different proportions of say 750/200/50 and a brief explanation as to why?

What's the enforcement structure like in Canada? Have you got the option to do the equivalent of letting the CSA handle it directly?

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lostheloveofmylife · 10/01/2018 02:28

Thanks for the replies. It's really helpful. Yes the online calculation does include dd1
I have thought about a counter bid very much along those lines, but I don't think he'll agree. Anyway, you are right, he should just stick to our agreement and pay me what he's supposed to. Thanks