Torn between two men

Hello, I’m very confused right now. I was married for 15 years been separated for two. I left my husband he didn’t want it but my mum died and I wasn’t in a very good place at all. Through my confusion I told myself we were in an unhappy marriage and dealing with the death of my mum I came to the conclusion that I should leave. Three months later I met a kind, caring man who came along at the right time or do I thought. Our feelings developed extremely quickly and I really did feel happy. My husband also began a new life for himself and rediscovered his single social life and dated other women. Throughout all of this I still convinced myself I was happy. I can’t explain it but now two years down the line I feel like I’ve made a mistake. Up until 6 months ago my husband made it clear he wanted me back. We recently spent Christmas together because of our children and I now know I still love him. Our marriage wasn’t perfect but now I see no relationship is. I broke up with my boyfriend who was devastated (something I’m not proud of) in fact I dislike myself at the moment. My problem is,my husband has hinted about getting back together and I can’t deny I still love him but I feel so guilty about my dc boyfriend. He is texting and calling to say I’m the love of his life and reminding me of all the things I also said to him. I’m so confused but am worried about making the wrong choice. I did feel like I loved my boyfriend but am desperate to save my marriage more not just for me but my children also. Please any advice would be greatly appreciated x