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Torn between two men

(5 Posts)
Lexi123 Wed 03-Jan-18 20:10:25

Hello, I’m very confused right now. I was married for 15 years been separated for two. I left my husband he didn’t want it but my mum died and I wasn’t in a very good place at all. Through my confusion I told myself we were in an unhappy marriage and dealing with the death of my mum I came to the conclusion that I should leave. Three months later I met a kind, caring man who came along at the right time or do I thought. Our feelings developed extremely quickly and I really did feel happy. My husband also began a new life for himself and rediscovered his single social life and dated other women. Throughout all of this I still convinced myself I was happy. I can’t explain it but now two years down the line I feel like I’ve made a mistake. Up until 6 months ago my husband made it clear he wanted me back. We recently spent Christmas together because of our children and I now know I still love him. Our marriage wasn’t perfect but now I see no relationship is. I broke up with my boyfriend who was devastated (something I’m not proud of) in fact I dislike myself at the moment. My problem is,my husband has hinted about getting back together and I can’t deny I still love him but I feel so guilty about my dc boyfriend. He is texting and calling to say I’m the love of his life and reminding me of all the things I also said to him. I’m so confused but am worried about making the wrong choice. I did feel like I loved my boyfriend but am desperate to save my marriage more not just for me but my children also. Please any advice would be greatly appreciated x

OP’s posts: |
Dottie39 Wed 03-Jan-18 20:15:24

Take some time away from both men. Get some counseling to deal with your grief over your mum and the decisions you have made since. Concentrate on being good parents to your children.

Lexi123 Wed 03-Jan-18 20:57:10

Thank you, I haven’t dealt with losing my mum at all. Doing my best for the children and so is their dad. Thank you 😊

OP’s posts: |
BackInTheRoom Thu 04-Jan-18 08:03:20

Go read some John Gottman

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B005DXP806/ref=pdaww_sim3511_1?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=Y484YMVZQS4BE28CRDZ3&dpPl=1&dpID=61JJBgD-YTL

Google his credentials

BackInTheRoom Thu 04-Jan-18 08:06:56

Your feeling developed quite quickly for your boyfriend. Google Limerence. Honestly most of this relationship stuff isn't a mystery/fantasy, it's science. There isn't a 'soulmate' either. It's all a bit text book tbh.

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