Legal advice re divorce

[Spottysock]

Have posted this in legal advice section too as not sure where best

So I want to separate from my husband. We have a dd.

I currently work ft. He got made redundant 1 yr ago and has made no effort to find work.

I would assume we'd have 50-50 childcare. I think he'd want to have full custody to hurt me. I'd love to have more custody if possible. I could easily do 50-50 even with work as my hours can be arranged so I'm not in 5 days a week.

I'd ideally sell family home and there'd be enough to buy 2 perfectly adequate smaller homes. I'm happy to move out and rent initially as current home has bad memories.

My questions are:

1. If we had 50-50 childcare would I have to pay maintenance to husband as I'm the only earner.
   

I could go part time and still support me and dd on reduced wage if didn't have to pay him.

1. Mortgage in joint names. Would i have to keep paying mortgage if I moved out.
   

1. Can he be forced to sell or buy me out.
   

He's EA of me and I know will do all he can to make my life hell.

We have significant savings between us (ISAs) etc if that makes any difference

Thanks

[FruitCider]

I’m really not experienced in this at all but if you have experienced EA could you look at an exclusion order which means he has to leave the house?

[FruitCider]

Sorry to add, I know it’s easier emotionally to leave but you may find the mortgage repayment falls to you as you are the only one currently employed

[NoMudNoLotus]

Youwould need to take the mortgage in your name only

[Spottysock]

Oh I hate this house. Really hate it. It's cold, no central heating so damp, too big, cobwebby and mouldy. I just pictured getting a small new build for me and dd

[Spottysock]

Why would I need the mortgage in my name. What if he refused

[ButteredScone]

Sorry but you will need to get an actual solicitor as so much of this will depend on circumstance.

Sorry to hear you are separating.

[Spottysock]

I will get a solicitor but I've a feeling it's all going to kick off soon. And I know he'll tell me that he's having full custody and I can't reduce my hours as I need to give him money etc etc I just wanted to try and be a little forarmed

[FruitCider]

From my understanding you are both jointly liable for mortgage, so they will come after the one most likely to be able to make payment eg more pressure will be put on you...

Who was primary carer of the child before you separated? X

[NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1]

1. Depends how much you earn. Is it a 6 figure salary?

1. Yes unless you take yourself off the mortgage with the agreement of the mortgage company

1. He can be forced to sell but he can't be forced to buy you out.

1. Doubt he'll get full custody. Why would he? Even Paul McCartney could only get 50/50 custody of his and heathers child

[Ilovetolurk]

OP go take some pre-emptive legal advice so you can explore what might happen if you go part time etc. You can then get yourself in the best position possible before it kicks off. I would not want the fact I was working ft to mean that he got a bigger share of assets, spousal maintenance and more time with dc when I could have done something about it beforehand. You can always up your hours again after the settlement

Ideally it sounds like you need to sell the house asap once things are in motion. The proceeds can be held onto pending settlement if you cannot agree. There is action you can take to force a sale which your solicitor will advise you about

[Appleandcinnamon]

1. If we had 50-50 childcare would I have to pay maintenance to husband as I'm the only earner.
   

I could go part time and still support me and dd on reduced wage if didn't have to pay him.

you wouldn’t have to pay him child maintenance you may have to pay spousal maintenance. It depends how much you earn and if a judge thinks it’s reasonable for him to get it. FYI not getting off you arse to work isn’t a reason.

1. Mortgage in joint names. Would i have to keep paying mortgage if I moved out.
   

Yes categorically yes you are jointly responsible. However DO NOT MOVE OUT

1. Can he be forced to sell or buy me out.
   

sell, yes if you are divorcing then everything you have is an asset

[Spottysock]

Thanks for all the replies. It is really helpful.

Not a 6 figure salary. Approx £60k so part time would be approx £40k. £500k + in savings which husband would not want to touch as in ISA and he's notoriously mean. But obv he couldn't stop me using my half.

Good point re paul McCartney

I think what I need to do is get a solicitor and find out exactly what the situation would be in my exact circumstances. And then probably go part time now, against his wishes, but would still be plenty for mortgage etc. Which means I'd be doing at least 2/5 schooo day collection and pick up.

Before we moved here (for his job which then went anyway) I was doing 100% childcare with nursery etc and I was pt then. Last year he's done 80% school runs as off work.

I'd dearly love to be part time again. They were my happiest times.

[Secretsout]

Sorry to hear you are going through this spotty I can only tell you what happened to me.

You will not get him out of the house if he is EA no matter what he does. I went to the police several times regarding my Ex and unless it gets physical he can stay. You will not even be able to put a lock on your bedroom door as ‘he is entitled to full and free access to the entire house’

Regarding the mortgage. We had a huge mortgage. I earned £15k, he earned £200k. It was joint. The lender could’ve pursued me for full payment (2.5 times my monthly salary)

Kids - 50/50 is the least you’ll get.

Get a damn good lawyer.