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Can I bag up his stuff?

(13 Posts)
thistoosha11pass Wed 27-Dec-17 11:20:13

My ex has moved into his mother and I have a solicitors letter stating that he will not be moving back in and will be finding a rental place.
He has taken one bag of clothes and left everything else. I want my son to move into this room and it is very likely I will be able to maintain the family home and buy my husband out.

My ex has resisted every step of the way, despite him being on a extra marital dating site (final straw). He has dragged his feet and is not reasonable and has a need to have everything on his terms.

My question is Can I legally move his stuff into the garage and loft? I want to clean the room and repaint it. I have no interest in looking at his stuff, I just want to move on.

Anyone know how I stand on this?

Thanks in advance

OP’s posts: |
letsdolunch321 Wed 27-Dec-17 11:24:01

Yes you can bag all his stuff dump it in the garage (where it may get wet/mouldy) and move on as you have received a solicitors letter stating he doesn’t plan-to move back in.

AManWalksIntoABarOuch Wed 27-Dec-17 11:28:54

Before you do anything which may result in it getting damaged send him a text saying if he hasn't removed his stuff by x date you will put it in the loft/garage.

I personally would try to store it in the best way posdible to avoid damage. Not necessarily out of respect for him but more to avoid the grief if he discovers any damage after you've moved it.

AManWalksIntoABarOuch Wed 27-Dec-17 11:29:35

And yes, I'd say you can bag it up, you're not getting rid, just moving it.

thistoosha11pass Wed 27-Dec-17 11:40:10

I wouldn't damage it, it would just give me more grief in the long run, I just want to move on with my life.

Thanks for the advice. The only thing stopping me is the threats and shouting that he will dish out when he finds out. He has told me to not touch his stuff. I didn't realise how controlling he was until now... angrysad

OP’s posts: |
AManWalksIntoABarOuch Wed 27-Dec-17 11:56:16

Well just move it then.
As I say you're not getting rid.

AManWalksIntoABarOuch Wed 27-Dec-17 11:57:53

To clarify, I mean don't tell him you're moving it and just move it.

If/when he wants it back tell him you'll bag it up then or if you are worried, put it back where it was before you moved it.

BattleCunt Wed 27-Dec-17 12:05:20

I'd bag it up and then put it in storage under his name so he can deal with the tab.

meditrina Wed 27-Dec-17 12:13:42

Yes, of course you can bag up and store it out of the way.

I would however caution you against putting it anywhere other than a typical spot - if damp, verminous or insecure (leading to damage or loss) then that's just another row waiting to happen, and as any of those things could be considered a predictable consequence. It's fine to put stuff in storage in loft of dry secure garage/shed. It's not fine to be careless with it resulting in damage (no matter how strong the urge).

Setting a limit on how long you will store it for might be prudent. In your head to begin with, but making it formal if the stuff seems to be lingering.

meditrina Wed 27-Dec-17 12:21:02

Sorry, typed slowly and hadn't seen your most recent post.

It might be worth rethinking tactics - what is going to be the fastest way to get rid of his stuff in ways that won't lead to stressful and time consuming conflict?

If he is making threats, record them.

Don't rise to them, just say - fine, what's your proposed solution because it can't stay here. Even when it's really tough, a threat won't work if you refuse to show you are threatened by it. Keep repeating that it cannot stay here, and that if he cannot remove it within a reasonable time, you will have to.

If he says he wants to come and get it, have you got someone who could be there with you? Or there without you, if you prefer and can be sure he won't remove items that are definitely yours.

Also, are there any items of disputed ownership?

thistoosha11pass Wed 27-Dec-17 12:31:57

No disputed items. For now I am moving it to one end of the room, the single bed is going on the garage and a couple of bags. That way I can start cleaning/painting for my son and it half does the job if you know what I mean.

I think I will text him and explain why I am doing it, ie not to spite, just to get stuff done. It's safe, it's secure, it's just moved. He might kick off a bit but to be honest he does with every change so I can't win anyway. It's taken him 8 months to move out, and only moved when I threatened an occupation order in him, due to eldest son not coping with it all. Roll on 2018! confusedwine

OP’s posts: |
KarmaStar Wed 27-Dec-17 12:44:30

Hi OP
Congratulations on getting rid of him and good luck in your future!🌻
Could you send him a signed for letter with a note saying your solicitor has a copy,explaining that you need to decorate and to prevent his property being inadvertently damaged can he collect by xxx date.add after that date if he has not removed said property it will be removed to shed/garage/storage and you will take no further responsibility for what happens to it thereafter.
It's been eight months!if he had moved house would he expect the new owners to keep his stuff safe for that long?iof course not.

WasDoingFine Wed 03-Jan-18 18:08:17

Do you both own the house?

I asked my solicitor this question. She said whilst he still joint owns the house he is entitled to have his belongings stored safely there. They can go in the garage etc as long as it is safe. If any halm comes to them then he could make a claim for them against you.

Before you take over the sole mortgage he should be asked to remove his property as he is no longer entitled to have it there

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