Have you already reached a financial settlement agreed by a judge?

[cheesypastatonight]

With regard to financial agreements between divorcing ex partners.....I've seen numerous threads where people are asking is this fair, is that fair...I have suggested this and a solicitor has said I would likely get that...the advice is always that a judge might grant that decision but may not, there are parameters of acceptability etc etc. There seem to be many posts where people say you might not get that etc.

I thought it would be really helpful for people trying to discuss and agree financial agreements with STBXH or STBEW what others have agreed and finalised with a judges agreement. Ie, people say you'd never get a 70:30 split nowadays or spousal maintenance past two years and then someone pops up and says, well got a 80:20 split and spousal for 5 years!!!

Would people be prepared to say what they got in a financial settlement, maybe some background of what assets there were or the disparity of earnings, child Maintence, so future divorcers or people considering starting the process (yup, me!) might have some idea of what may happen?

[MrsBertBibby]

Such anecdotes are of no help whatsoever in guessing what might happen in another case.

[cheesypastatonight]

But if there are similarities in background, assets , children etc, then there must be patterns and averages. Otherwise it would be completely arbitrary as to what each person gets and it isn't...

[cheesypastatonight]

Yes, I know this, about the parameters. It is just personal examples that I was interested in.

[sothisisnew]

I'd say this is a neat demonstration of how the courts have too much discretion! How can we know what we're really getting into when we get married when divorce is so unpredictable?

[MrsBertBibby]

It is life, not divorce, which is unpredictable.

The discretion of the judge enables he court to mitigate that unpredictability.

[cheesypastatonight]

So therefore there are parameters! And my point was the more people post their experiences and background, the more we can see what an example of an accepted judgement might be.

I can't see the problem with my point? Knowledge is power. Guidance is useful!

[WitchesHatRim]

Knowledge is power.

Yes but a little bit of knowledge or incorrect knowledge is s dangerous thing.

[cheesypastatonight]

Possibly, but knowing what other people have settled with and a judge has approved, hoe can that be dangerous? I don't get all the angst? It's just telling your own story.
Everyone on this forum does it on every other topic under the sun and it's no problem.
People ask for advice and some people say you should do A and others say, I have done B. That's all.

[Sealsarewaterdogs]

I think the divorce system is out dated and ridiculous.

My DP was married for less then 1 year, his ex partner left him for the best man, she concealed this and lied all the way through court about anything and everything and ended up with 300k not including solicitor/court fees!

I don't think it's fair to ask how much was the split 80/20 etc without including how long you were together. If the person had inheritance money as part of it etc.

Divorce brings out the worst in people, it often bring out their selfish, glutenous and malicious side. People marry for the wrong reasons, relationships are shorter then they use to be. The whole court system needs updating to keep relevant with modern society!

[cheesypastatonight]

Yea, I know, which is what I requested in the original op. I know all of these are variables. I thank you for the published cases, but I have read all of these already. They only show a few examples where the circumstances are nowhere near mine, so the more examples people disclose, the more chance everyone has of finding a situation near their own, surely?

[MrsBertBibby]

Well, no. You will have individual people's view of their case, not the judge's view, which is what matters.

Decided cases give you the judge's factual findings, and his or her reasoning.

Individual anecdote will give you little insight into the judicial reasoning.

[Moanranger]

Po, my example probably will not help, as we split after kids left home. It took 4 years to get a settlement. Most of what was in the Consent Decree was agreed between us towards the end of a protracted process. We both got : a roof over our heads, pensions of similar value, & kept assets of our own. I doubt this helps you, but it is my example.

[Wishingandwaiting]

OP, it would be interesting, certainly, but not actually helpful.

So much to factor in to a settlement. You’ve not been through it, but you’re about to find out all that goes in to a financial settlement and how it is a very individual thing, and I suspect you may well return to this thread in a year and concede that fact.

[bigmouthstrikesagain]

I think the amount of background detail required to make a meaningful contribution to this thread as you have requested op would be very identifying. The point is that there are parameters but if it was simply a calculation based on assets and number of children and years of marriage there would be no need for a judicial settlement - it is the complexity of human relationships that make it necessary to involve the court, so they can look at the circumstances and make a reasonable arrangement (hopefully). All you would learn from other settlements is the wide variety of both settlements and what people consider salient information.

Get legal advice, speak to the CAB, CAFCASS if you have children. But don't expect anecdote to be evidence, is more likely to be misleading.

[dertyyuoih2]

My husband was married before me. My husband had been married four. Separated for two of those, had one child.
House had 45k equity in, he had a pension. She had been a SAHM until a year prior to seperation.
He earnt 30k her 12k.

The judge agreed to basically an 80/20 split. She got 30k of equity in the house, my husband bought her out of it, this money enabled her to put a deposit down on a smaller property. She got 10k out of his pension and then the debts they had (small) they split.
She moved out of the family home and bought a smaller house.
This took about six months to go through.

Divorce on grounds of two years seperation. She got legal aid (2011 when you could for divorce) and he paid 4K of legal fees.