So confused

[Lexi123]

Hi, I am so confused I can’t think straight and desperately need some advice. I am separated from my husband (2 years in feb) and it’s amicable. We have two teenage children together so talk almost every day. It was my decision to leave and wasn’t easy. He was controlling at times and would belittle me on occasions especially if he had an audience. Strangely, I knew he loved me very much and we did have good times along the way. Since separating I have been in another relationship with a kind, understanding man, I think now I may have rushed into it which has only become obvious to me 14 months down the line. I now feel that as it has been quite a while I would look foolish trying to explain to him that I no longer want to carry on. I think he came along at a time where I was lonely and confused and I stupidly got swept up in the moment. How do I explain to this lovely man that I now need time to be in my own? No matter how I try not to I feel like an awful person and am dreading letting him down. Pleas help

[happygolulu]

Hi Lexi. You think you rushed into it or you are sure? Be absolutely sure of what you want and if you need to give yourself more time to think things through, do. Is there anything else going on or underlying which is worrying you? You might just be having a wobble yearning for past, which is not uncommon a year or so in. What do you hope for in ending the relationship? To be on your own or to try and reconcile with ExH? Just remember that old saying, is it true? is it necessary? is it kind? If you know for sure you have to end it, you can only do it in the politest way possible. It's not nice news but I am sure you will be respected for your honesty if that is what you decide to do.

[Lexi123]

Thank you for your reply. I think at first the new relationship was perfect. We talked and laughed and had meals out everything I wasn’t really used to. Because it was so easygoing I suppose time has run away and now he is talking about the future. For some reason I can’t see a future as lovely as he is. I don’t think it’s fair to make him think otherwise. If I’m honest I do think of my husband and the family unit that I have now broken and I feel terribly guilty about that. I think I just need to be on my own as I didn’t give myself that time to recover from my marriage breaking up. Thank you again x x

[happygolulu]

well good luck with everything and most importantly take care of yourself so you can be strong for self and your DC. Take your time, all will be well. xx