What can I do?

[ilovemusic]

I am in the middle of divorcing my husband after he had an affair. He is still with the OW and is planning to move in with her. For some reason (I am hoping someone can shed some light on this!) he seems to be doing everything he can to delay things. We agreed on a financial settlement months ago but decided he wanted to seek advice from a Barrister just as it was due to go to Court. He took months to arrange an appointment with a Barrister and now still hasn't been forthcoming with an outcome from that meeting.

Why is he behaving like this? I can only think it's just another way to control me by keeping me waiting until he's ready to say how things should be. I would've thought he would want to get on with his wonderful new life that he seemed so keen on instead of dragging things out like this.

Any insights gratefully received or advice on how I can move things forward. My solicitor has written to his but no response

[ilovemusic]

Anyone?
I'm getting so stressed and anxious about this as I sense he's controlling means the old helpless feeling I used to get is coming back. Please tell me if ibu....

[CaptainM]

Didn't want to read and run..but imagine there could be lots of possible reasons. Hard to guess without much information:

• If he's a high earner, he might be "tidying up his finances"...
  
• If he hadn't wanted/doesn't want the divorce, he might be hoping you'll change your mind.
  
• he might be buying time to make sure he wants to live with OW
  
• if you have children, might need to think about child arrangement...
  

Could go on and on. If I were you, I'd speak to a solicitor and get the ball rolling. Perhaps give him a deadline to get back to you, after which if you don't hear back, you'll take the court route.

I wouldn't just sit back and be reactive. The quicker you get the ball rolling, the quicker you can move on with your life

Good luck

[ilovemusic]

Thankyou for your kind words.

I have a solicitor on the case but the best they can offer is to write to his solicitor which usually gets a bland reply and my costs are rising each time I do it - no doubt that's what he's hoping for!

I just feel so helpless and controlled as I seem to have to work to his timescales and he's calling the shots.

He regularly sends me texts taunting me about how rubbish I am so I can't understand why he wants to hang on like this!