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Selling former marital home, terrified of struggling to buy somewhere else :(

(7 Posts)
lifeislikeaboxochocolates Tue 21-Nov-17 13:28:52

New to Mumsnet so forgive me if I make any mistakes with mumsnet conventions or what have you.
My ex wife left me for another man a couple of years ago taking our kids with her and we mutually agreed a price and an agent to sell the ex marital home. I remained in the former marital home struggling to pay over £1000 mortgage repayments each month - which is fair enough I guess as I am living in the whole house and she isn't, even though it was her choice.
Anyway the house has been on the market just under two years and has had interest but no offers so far (one buyer wants to make an offer but has to wait for an offer on their house...sad)
We have reduced the asking price twice already, I'm really worried about the ex hammering me to reduce it again as she threatens court action if I don't agree. We originally agreed a 50/50 split in any money we get from the sale of property after mortgage balance paid and solicitor /agent fees paid. This was through a consent order two years ago. The ex lives with the man she left me for in a house he owns outright, fmh is my primary place of residence and any money I get from the sale will be used to buy my replacement place of residence, I'm so scared of further reductions as it will seriously limit what I can buy as I'm a lot older than when I was when we took this mortgage out originally and my borrowing ability is severely reduced due to my age. I would agree to the ex's wishes to reduce the house further if we could agree that I would have a larger portion of the equity - I don't know if I would be successful with this but to me it seems unfair I'm doing all the work keeping the house looking perfect and carrying out viewings trying to get a sale so I can move on, while the ex just wants to push the price down so she can have money that she doesn't even rely on to house herself!
Has anyone man or woman been in this scenario and can possibly offer any advice? I'm really keen to sell the house and move on but I genuinely cannot afford to keep reducing the asking price the way things are.

OP’s posts: |
wobytide Tue 21-Nov-17 13:54:00

Not really enough details and you don't mention the situation with kids if any but if you are in a large house that is a struggle to afford now, then even with 50% equity the presumption is you'd be moving somewhere much smaller if it's only you and then you'll have to make the budgets work? Presumably if you agreed it in a consent order yo had worked out the finances at such a point were feasible ?

lifeislikeaboxochocolates Tue 21-Nov-17 14:06:41

the kids live with ex and their stepdad in the (mortgage free) house and are with me for overnight contact.
Problem is I've been viewing houses and even houses smaller than this (and this isnt exactly huge) I will still need a mortgage on top of the equity from sale if the house sells at current asking price. So if the asking price is reduced further, I need a bigger mortgage just to get somewhere suitable for my kids to stay with me for contact and for me to live in, this means I need a 3 bedroom house minimum as the kids don't share rooms. My partner has recently moved in with me to help with living bills after moving from other side of the country but as a mature student she isn't in a position to help with mortgage payments or buying a new house, so I'm not factoring her in financially and would get a mortgage in my name.

OP’s posts: |
HeckyPeck Wed 22-Nov-17 08:53:56

I would seek legal advice re:

A: can your ex force you to reduce the asking price
B: can you amend the details of the consent order (also mention that you've been solely paying the mortgage since ex-w moved out).

It seems greedy of her to expect half when you're the one who's been paying for the last couple of years.

& then see where you go from there?

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 Wed 22-Nov-17 12:55:22

How old are you?

lifeislikeaboxochocolates Wed 22-Nov-17 17:20:42

She can take me to court and ask a judge to order a further reduction and seek costs from me (she has threatened this before)
With regards to paying the full mortgage and her expecting half, I’m living in the whole house so I suppose if she was paying half the mortgage she could charge me rent for living in her share if you see what I mean. However in terms of fairness and making sure both parties can house themselves I think I should be given a larger share of equity as I will be relying on every single penny I get to find somewhere else to live whereas any money from the sale will be surplus capital for her as she benefits from living in her partners home. I’m not saying she shouldn’t receive anything but as things stand she isn’t requiring money as desperately as I am to house her or our children.

@NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 I’m 56 - I’ve discussed mortgage options and I’m very limited as to what I can get!

OP’s posts: |
traviata Wed 22-Nov-17 17:27:55

sympathies - you are in a tricky position - but if you were going to court now, the court would be looking first and foremost at the children's security. They have a roof over their heads now, but only for so long as ex-wife's partner says so. She has no rights at all over his home, and if they split up, she and the kids would be homeless.

But you said that you have a consent order - ie a final order? If so, you have no chance of changing the equity split. The only part of a final order that can be varied is maintenance (if there is any).

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