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Financial settlement rejected,what now?

(19 Posts)
Hotheadwheresthecoldbath Wed 15-Nov-17 00:09:05

So my soon to be ex and I finally,after being messed about by solicitors,got together and agreed financially what we wanted to happen.All the forms had been filled but we spoke to our solicitors about our solution.
We thought we were just waiting for the decree absolute.
Today had a letter from my solicitor saying the judge had rejected our financial agreement.We are both gutted.
We want to go 50:50 on the proceeds of the sale of the martial home and then he keeps all other capital offset against my NHS pension ,we both accept that whilst in cash value terms my pension looks good once we start dividing it(and that with loss adjusters involved and the NHS fees will cost about £4000 which I do not have),it's value benefit neither of us.
We are 57 so time is against us.Why if we are agreed that this is better for us and our daughter can we not do as we wish,our solicitors agree.
So what now,we have already spent enough on solicitors.Of all the things we cannot remain married for money was not one of them!
This has already dragged on for a year and a half and I thought the end was in sight,I could repay borrowed money that enabled us to leave and move forward.

Hotheadwheresthecoldbath Wed 15-Nov-17 00:14:30

Sorry,have been keeping it together all evening so my dd doesn't know but she has been an affectionate teen tonight so realises I am unhappy about something.Having a good old cry in my bed at.
I have to remind myself that it is my bed and has white sheets that stay white and fragrant.And I can sleep star shaped if I like.

MrsBertBibby Wed 15-Nov-17 07:03:42

What does the letter from the court actually say?

Usually the judge just wants to have something explained.

Hotheadwheresthecoldbath Wed 15-Nov-17 09:16:50

Going to talk to solicitor today .

wendywoopywoo222 Wed 15-Nov-17 11:20:12

Ours was rejected and we had to go to see the Judge where we explained why we had come up with the solution which on paper looked one sided. He agreed it was sensible and wanted to make sure that the party who appeared to be losing out was agreeable and not being coerced.

sparechange Wed 15-Nov-17 11:31:37

Do you both have solicitors?
Judges are wary when one side has legal representation but the other party self represents

Can you ask to have a court hearing date to put the rationale to the judge in person?

Secretsout Wed 15-Nov-17 14:33:28

I Feel for you hothead this was my biggest anxiety earlier this year. I too had an NHS pension that was worth just under half of my exes (based on CETV not actuary). Lots of other stuff too but capital wise I walked away with a big chunk in favour of leaving his pension and shares alone

My sol advised me that if our consent order was rejected then both sols and ourselves could write to court saying we had taken considerable legal and financial advice and were happy with our agreement. Good luck

Hotheadwheresthecoldbath Thu 16-Nov-17 00:35:31

A few things but the main one seems to be that we have to justify why he is taking capital against my pension,we just have to adjust some figures to make it blindingly obvious as she seems not to have read a page.My solicitor luckily could see me today and it 'should'be easily clarified..
We hold our breath.Thats a few hundred pounds more on my bill as exdhs solicitor has not told him!

Hotheadwheresthecoldbath Thu 16-Nov-17 00:38:48

Feeling less stressed today,just really,really want this finally over.

MrsBertBibby Thu 16-Nov-17 07:47:32

Judges can be utter twits. We had one case where it took 3 goes to get one to see that if you had a house with 200K equity, and one party got the house and gave the other 100K, that was an equal split.

Honestly, we spent so much time trying to see if we had messed up the drafting, but no, the judge was just being utterly dense.

In the end, we slapped it back in just before her holiday, and someone else waved it through.

Sounds like this one will be sorted, but it is beyond infuriating when it costs a load more money, just because the judge isn't giving it the proper time and thought.

JohPa Thu 16-Nov-17 10:20:29

Sorry - changing the subject slightly, for those with an NHS pension how long did it take to get your CETV ? It's 6 weeks since I received acknowledgment of my request but I had sent it 2 weeks prior to that. Decree nisi being granted next week so I'm keen to sort finances out but obviously negotiations hinge on how much of the value of my pension I've got to give away.

MrsBertBibby Thu 16-Nov-17 10:27:34

It can take months. NHS and Teachers are the pits for delay.

JohPa Thu 16-Nov-17 12:08:42

The time frame they say to expect is 12 weeks, beginning to wish I'd paid the £400+ to get it in 6 weeks though there is still no guarantee of that. Even the letter that they send is horrible as they suggest that contacting them will cause further delay - as they put your application to the bottom of the pile presumably !!

YouWhoNeverArrived Thu 16-Nov-17 13:29:46

Mine took almost exactly 12 weeks, JohPa.

WasDoingFine Thu 16-Nov-17 17:16:28

My NHS pension took over 3 months. Stbxh RAF pension took 8 weeks but he had to pay for the privilege of getting it. His private one's 2 weeks confused

WasDoingFine Thu 16-Nov-17 17:20:28

I'm hoping our judge will agree ours as we have (hopefully) agreed a simular split.

Stbxh keeps £300,000 pension. £40,000 redundancy plus gets £26,000 lumpsum from me.

I get £200,000 house, £53,000 pension, £20,000 pension share from him. Plus my share of my mum's house

Hotheadwheresthecoldbath Sun 19-Nov-17 13:38:17

Nhs pension can take months,I paid £400 to get it in 6weeks.
I was having a look at my NHS benefits site(can't remember proper name but all NHS workers now have one,ask HR if you're not sure how to get on it).It has a pensions link now and has the latest CTV on it,also how much you would get if you retired now etc.That would be useful to start negotiations until you get official letter.

JohPa Sun 19-Nov-17 14:57:08

I nearly paid the £400 then realised that they still don't guarantee the 6 week time frame. I've also looked at the figures available on the gateway which wasn't terribly helpful !

WasDoingFine Sun 19-Nov-17 17:52:46

I was told gateway is not to be used in a divorce settlement and the figures on mine were different to the CETV

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