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Heartache

(5 Posts)
user1499288566 Thu 09-Nov-17 22:53:57

I love this person beyond words. We have been together for over 5 years. We share a child. There has been more downs then ups. He has put me through a lot, lied about drug use at the start when pregnant, spoken to me badly many times , been a heavy drinker and still can be at times , has never fully been with me raising our child as a family. Ended up going home around 7 times with my baby over his treatment. In the end I got my own place, we kept getting back together. Where we are now is he works away only home weekends which he spends with me. I'm still doing the parent thing alone I'm still running place alone. He gives me 100 pound a week .but it's not like a proper partnership. I want everything 50 50 .he promised when we made up that this was it. He would save for house. Look at working near home etc. It's all changed. Said he thinks this will be his life for long while yet being away. He don't want to sign up for a house when there is lots of room at his dad's for us , which I have never wanted. Now I'm back in the position of here I am again all over place. No closer to being settled .I'm drained I'm hurt I'm angry frustrated. I love this person but know if I carry on like this It will kill me .literally, it makes me suicidal. Just carnt take anymore .Don't understand how something can be so complicated. Now I have to try make myself move on and give up. Yet still see him for our child while inside I'm heart broken that I have to say goodbye to someone I love .help

wobytide Thu 09-Nov-17 23:55:22

No words but suicide isn’t the way out. You owe yourself and your child that. You may have to accept he isn’t going to be what you want, but you need to control what you want to be for you and your child. Never give up, you are worth more alive. Never forget that

KarmaNoMore Fri 10-Nov-17 00:07:25

I'm sorrry you are going through this. There are so many things that we would do for a child, like staying in abusive relationships that can eventually destroy us just because it has been hammered into us that you need to ensure dad stays in touch with the kid no matter what.

Well... that is not true. It is only in the best interest of the child to stay in touch if this is a positive relationship. Growing up in an environment like the one you are experiencing now, it is not the best of your kid or yourself.

A friend of mine once described his abusive relationship as a drug addiction: you keep coming back for more even if you know well that they can eventually destroy you.

KarmaNoMore Fri 10-Nov-17 00:09:21

I would also like to say that it is far more difficult to takevthe decision to part than dealing with the consequences of it.

Please be kind to yourself, you really need to, and start planing your exit and new life with your lovely child.

user1499288566 Fri 10-Nov-17 20:02:21

It's so so hard letting go.i no i need to but I'm just heart broken. I loved this person so much and wanted to spend my life with him

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