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Ex is moving 130 miles wants me to pay half travel costs.

(11 Posts)
hellosausage Wed 08-Nov-17 15:02:31

Ex is moving 130 miles away. He wants me to share the journeys approx twice a month, about 100 in petrol. He told me the amount he'd give me in maintenance, which to me seemed generous, and he explained it's so I could facilitate the petrol costs. I was advised to check csa calculator and he is giving me the minimum. I don't want it to sound greedy but it seems unfair he decides to move and I have to pay half the travel costs and do half the travelling? It is going to be so tight financially when he leaves that the 100 would make a massive difference to me and the children. Until he leaves I don't want to kick up a fuss but when he has 3x the spare cash I have to support myself and 2 children it doesn't seem fair. Obviously I want him to have a relationship with the children, but he expects maintenance to cover everything the kids need and petrol, he has made it clear he doesn't expect to be asked for a penny more towards the children.

Sorry that's so long!

endofthelinefinally Wed 08-Nov-17 15:04:07

His decision.
He deals with it.
If he is only giving you minimum maintenance he cannot expect you to travel.

hellosausage Wed 08-Nov-17 15:25:52

Wow, thank you. I was expecting to be told I was being a grabby bugger!

MyBrilliantDisguise Wed 08-Nov-17 15:30:21

No. It's his decision. He can't just land you with a bill when he's paying the minimum as it is.

May09Bump Wed 08-Nov-17 15:32:11

Agree with above - he is a cheeky sod.

pinyata Wed 08-Nov-17 15:38:50

Since he is only paying the minimum in would draw up a monthly bill for this travel arrangement (to be paid in advance) including extra mileage incurred in your car which could result in an increase to insurance premiums and depreciation to the value of your car. Petrol and packed lunches for the DC also an hourly rate for your time since he seems to think your a chauffeur or taxi driver

Or he could facilitate the transport arrangements himself wink

Frazzled2207 Wed 08-Nov-17 15:51:14

If he’s only going to pay you minimum then he does the ferrying, not you.
As pp said it’s not just the petrol it’s the wear and tear on your car too.

DuchessMinnie Wed 08-Nov-17 20:18:40

I posted recently about my own similar situation. My XH moved 75 miles away and reduced contact from 10 to 4 days a month. He told me constantly that it was unfair he had to do all the travel as well as pay maintenance (CMS minimum) and wanted me to do one of the collections or drops a month. After harassment from both him and his gf i finally agreed to meet him halfway once a month- a 2 hour round trip for me and 1.5 hours for him.

Last month XH decided this wasn’t good enough so refused to have the children one of his weekends. He feels, somehow that he’s getting the rough end of the deal.

Don’t underestimate the difficulty of managing everything on basic CMS. Mine is £500 per month which you’d think is an ok amount but honestly- deduct childcare, uniforms, school trips, food, books, shoes etc etc and i definitely have the lion’s share of expenses.

You can refuse and risk him telling everyone how unreasonable you are, or you can offer a compromise. He can’t force you to do any travel and it’s unlikely a court would order it. I’m doing the compromise purely because my DC really, really want to see their dad and i want to facilitate that as much as possible. But I do think I will end up regretting it.

AdaColeman Wed 08-Nov-17 20:29:36

He has decided to move away.
It is for him to manage and pay for any costs incurred when he sees the children. It is not up to you to facilitate/enable his contact with them, that is his own responsibilty.

PeasAndHarmony Wed 08-Nov-17 20:34:36

Cheeky f@cker.

He needs to pay his maintenance as per csa rules plus the cost of any travel as it’s his choice to move away. Why should your kids (as that’s who the money is for) pay for his decision to move away?

Justbookedasummmerholiday Thu 09-Nov-17 13:36:41

How old are the dc?

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