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Feeling bad for the children

(6 Posts)
Onlymeeeeee Sun 29-Oct-17 14:35:07

StbExH refused to move out permanently when he realised i was serious about divorce (after years of non-engagement with family life and most recent to my divorce request after 4 weeks of sulking on the sofa) because he said it was important for the children.

Yet he hasn't arranged to spend time with them except Wednesday teatime for 6 weeks. He won't commit to EOW because this isn't fair on his work colleagues, yet he has had a day off at the weekend for 5 of the last 6 weeks.

I can survive just about but my children dont understand why he's not interested. Before we split i did a lot of masking "daddy's busy" "daddy has to work to pay for things for the family" but as his contribution is £50 week and Wednesday teatime i dont see why i should be doing this. I'm cross and sad for them but have to bite my tongue as the selfish arse is still stinking out the spare bedroom and blanking him is the best way to cope

bastardkitty Sun 29-Oct-17 14:39:14

I guess this lack of care or interest is central to the reasons you are leaving him. Is there any kind of time frame on how long you will be living in this situation? It really hurts to see your children so hurt and let down. When he's no longer under the same roof, it won't be quite so obvious to them. Are you keeping a record for when he starts on the 50/50 bollocks?

Onlymeeeeee Mon 30-Oct-17 06:21:45

Its all written down ready for the solicitor

bastardkitty Mon 30-Oct-17 17:24:16

Have you got supportive friends and/or family?

Onlymeeeeee Tue 31-Oct-17 21:56:09

Yes luckily I have a hidden network of friends who listen to me let off steam about it, and family are pleased to see the back of stbExH, but i wondered if anyone on here can give any advice on how to help the children get it? Or how to make him see his selfish arse ways are having a negative impact?

bastardkitty Tue 31-Oct-17 23:25:30

That's great - good for you. What do you want the children to get? This is their 'normal' and they will adjust to a healthier normal. The last part is not your problem to battle with. You can't make him see that - it's up to him. He is only bothered about himself. Occasionally a really big shake up will impact on that, but often it doesn't. You will be well rid of him.

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