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Waiting for Offer of Settlement

(10 Posts)
HalfMyLife Tue 24-Oct-17 15:09:25

STBXH's solicitor now has all my financial documents - they haven't asked for my Form E - even though i have told them it is completed and asked for STBXH's.
They just asked me to send my pension CETV (which was the only thing outstanding) and they would be in touch with an offer to settle.
Can anyone advise on what a fair settlement might look like......

Married 21 years
2 children, 10 & 5
Me 43, him 46
I earn 21K, he earns £14K. Both work full time
Children live full time with me - he sees them once a month for a few hours only (despite living only 1 mile away - his choice)

House - 75K
Pension (Me) - £50K
Pension (Him) - £6K

Remaining mortgage - 37K
Loan - £7K
Credit Cards - £5K
Tax Credit overpayment - £3K

I will be staying in the FMH with the children. He is renting.

I will need to remortgage to pay him a settlement, but am worried that my borrowing capability as it is now (including Maintenance and TAx Credits which my mortgage lender have said they will accept as income) will make my payments manageable now - but unmanageable once i stop receiving Maintenance and tax credits) - Can i use this as a reason to reject a settlement offer if i think it's too high.

He (I think) is expecting a relatively high settlement, so I would be interested to see what others think would be reasonable.

He has also indicated to our DS (10) that by the end of the year he will be moving nearer to work and asking his girlfriend (the OW) to move in with him - should this have a bearing on the outcome?

Thanks in advance

MrsBertBibby Wed 25-Oct-17 06:15:48

You need to see a solicitor for proper advice. No decent lawyer is Going to try to advise on settlement on here!

Cupoteap Wed 25-Oct-17 06:51:37

Similar circumstances, my outcome was higher proceeds from the house sale, and he got a chunk of my pension. Debts during marriage paid off before division of money from the house.

LaurieFairyCake Wed 25-Oct-17 07:16:29

He’s on such a low salary, maintenance is going to be tiny!

I wouldn’t expect him to get any money out of the house, you’ve got 2 children to house and you’re barely going to manage as it is.

I would definitely get some advice.

LaurieFairyCake Wed 25-Oct-17 07:18:57

Your liabilities are £52,000 and your assets are £75,000 in a falling market, with possible interest rate rises, the cost of remortgaging, the unlikelihood of you being able to raise money against the house, the children to raise and house.

I wouldn’t expect to remortgage at all.

RandomMess Wed 25-Oct-17 07:34:15

Starting point is 50/50 but you have the DC to house - I would argue until the youngest is 22 (left uni). You can’t raise much via remortgage.

It won’t be much and he may have to wait until the youngest is 22 and you can downsize!

HalfMyLife Wed 25-Oct-17 10:16:20

Thank you for your replies - Mrs BirtBibby, I've been taking advice from a friend who is a family lawyer and she's seen me through this far, and has advised that he may come out of this with nothing - we were going to propose an offer but his solicitor has indicated that they will be contacting me with an offer of settlement so we're going to wait for them to play their hand first. I am incredibly impatient though, and just wanted some input from others who may have had similar. (I don't like to bother her over every one of my little worries as she's doing enough for me as it is)
It seems uncommon for the wife to be the higher paid, with higher pension funds etc so hard to know what to expect.
On paper, my current mortgage lender would lend me £70K over 20 years - so am worried that i will be expected to take out a mortgage that i can barely afford now, and definitely won't be able to 10 years from now.
I also feel guilty that he may come away with nothing, even though i know i really have nothing to feel guilty for - he has completely failed me and our kids. Ugh - this is all so hard :-(

RandomMess Wed 25-Oct-17 13:59:51

Well he isn’t physically caring for them and his financial contribution must be minimal with his low wage. How does he think the DC will be housed??? That will be the courts priority!

Don’t be afraid to offer him something (fixed value or very low percentage of equity) when you are able to sell the house in 15 years time.

Detach emotionally from the house - it’s a home for you and the DC until they are early/mid twenties after that it will likely need to be sold.

Usually settlements for the low earner reflect their main carer role so gather evidence that you were the main carer and ran the household whilst you also worked and were main breadwinner if that was the case flowers

HalfMyLife Wed 25-Oct-17 14:30:03

Thank you - yes, that definitely was the case - he did the bare minimum for the kids when he lived with us - and does even less now :-(
I'm hoping I can keep my pension by arguing that it's smaller than it could have been because I worked part time for 10 years to look after the children, and that his is smaller than it could have been because he's chosen not to pay into one , and he's also not earning as much as he could.
Not much point downsizing at any point tbh - house was officially valued at £75K but in reality similar houses locally are selling for more like £55/£60K - it's a 3 bed terraced in an area with really low house prices - so whatever I sell it for at any point I'd have to spend the same to buy again, plus cost of selling etc. and if I sold and gave him some of the equity then I'd need to get a mortgage to buy something else, which would probably prove difficult at the grand old age of 58.
It's all so flipping complicated

RandomMess Wed 25-Oct-17 19:45:52

Hmmm perhaps time to get it revalued!!!

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