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Help, my ex wants to move in with me.

(9 Posts)
Twinkletoes85 Mon 23-Oct-17 12:31:54

A while ago my ex and I parted ways, this was fairly amicable at the time. We own a house together which I have continued to live in (and pay the full mortgage on) as financially I can afford to do this on my own where as he would not be able. We are not married.
He has moved out and as we agreed I have taken on paying the mortgage in full and all the bills as this was the fair way to move forward in the situation. We both now have new partners, my partner spends most nights with me at the house as I have pets which doesn’t really allow me to spend many nights away from home. He does not provide any financial aid to me for staying at the house as he is paying his own bills elsewhere and I do not want to muddy the waters in terms of the house ownership.
My ex is unhappy with this and does not believe that I am paying for the house on my own. He has requested to receive rent from me to go towards paying his living expenses elsewhere or he will be moving back in to the property. I know he is well within his rights to do this as it is still half his home etc and as I am not paying a full mortgage and then rent to him on top then this is what will happen.
Does anyone have any advice how to handle living with my ex partner whilst we wait for sale? Can I restrict access to things such as the internet (which is my subscription in my name from my previous address and he has never paid a penny towards.) With the exception of a few items all the furniture etc in the home was provided by myself at my expense. I would like to set some ground rules regarding visitors etc (his partner and my partner only for example) to try minimise any conflict however I know from living with him before he will not respect any requests. Help!

notnowthough Mon 23-Oct-17 12:34:04

can't your new partner pay him rent?

expatinscotland Mon 23-Oct-17 12:38:24

I'd see a solicitor. He may not be able to just move back in if he's been gone a year due to relationship breakdown. You need to sell asap.

XJerseyGirlX Mon 23-Oct-17 12:39:04

do you think he would really move in or is he just threatening to exercise his rights ?

AlexsMum89 Mon 23-Oct-17 12:43:01

Hold on a minute. Surely this isn't right. I don't see how he can demand rent from you if you're paying the full mortgage? That was the agreement and in terms of contract law, it is a contract even if it was a verbal one. If you were separated at the time the agreement was made then it is even more concrete.
The only was I could see it being reasonable to pay him rent would be if he was still paying half of the mortgage, which he isn't.
He can't threaten to just move back in with you, that's ridiculous.
Take advice from a solicitor, lots of them offer half an hour to an hour free anyway.
Change the locks so he can't just walk in. Right now, it is your home, not just an asset.
It really doesn't matter whether either of you have new partners, your persona life doesn't change how you deal with the asset of the house.

Twinkletoes85 Mon 23-Oct-17 12:54:01

I have spoken to a solicitor who is going to write to him regarding not moving back in as we are selling etc however she advised she’s going to ignore any points about my new partner as she feels it’s irrelevant. I know this won’t go down well with him as his main issue is that I’m seeing someone else.

He will almost definitely move back in and I really don’t know how to deal with it when he does. I know he will decide he’s only paying a third of everything and will continue with the behaviour that caused multiple issues whilst we were together. It’s not an option for me to move out for various issues not least the risk of repossession if I leave him to pay the mortgage as I was doing.

How do I minimise the discomfort that this will cause all parties?

Twinkletoes85 Mon 23-Oct-17 12:54:37

And I would love to change the locks but illegally I’m obliged to give him a key as I can’t deny access

expatinscotland Mon 23-Oct-17 13:06:50

Is it on the market?

Twinkletoes85 Mon 23-Oct-17 13:08:15

It will be very shortly

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