Sorry it’s Long and boring. DH and I have been together 10 years, married 6. We have been living outside of the UK for most of this time. Visit regularly to see our families. Two young DCs.
The relationship is over. We are now in a situation where we need to consider what and how we are going to do this. Currently still living together amicably and acting like a normal, happy family. People in our social circle here would be shocked to hear that things are not all rosy. We 100% cannot leave where we are until the middle of next year. We are fine with this. Issue is what to do when that time comes.
Husband is keen to stay where we are beyond summer next year (for an additional year on top of this one, taking us to mid-2019). There is a possible job opportunity for him that would fit well with our family and could be a good money saving opportunity to deal with all the costs for when we would return to the UK in 2019. We know we’re going to need as much money as we can get to help with divorce costs and setting up two new homes so I am keen to save.
My issue with this is it means we have to stay living in the same house as a family for a year longer than originally intended. Living separately is not an option where we are (and would anyhow defeat the purpose of saving). We’re getting on ok but think we’d be stalling our lives from moving forward with this arrangement.
I may have a job opportunity elsewhere (still overseas but much closer to UK) starting summer next year. I’m keen on this because the money I could earn is a lot better, closer to home and I feel it would be a new start (I.e. we could start the process of separation and begin to live our own lives). He is not as keen as may struggle to find a job in his field. This would be for 2 years (before finally returning to UK permanently) with opportunity to save a reasonable stash on my wage.
I’m not expecting to come back home rich- we won’t, but just want that bit of security for myself and DCs when we get back, be able to maybe buy a home with reasonable mortgage etc.
Third option is to just go straight back to the UK next summer when this current assignment is over. We could separate properly and get on with our lives, but he will struggle to find employment in his field, my salary will be comparatively shit and every month will be a struggle. Zero saving potential.
So to summarias, he is keen on option 1, I’m keen on option 2 and there is an option 3. Don’t know how to proceed for the best. My objectives are getting a bit of money behind us to make it a somewhat more comfortable experience for the kids and I. Those are also his objectives, but I also don’t want to be living in this fake life anymore. He seems ok to carry on with that! WTD?
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Divorce/separation
Living and abroad and want to separate.
6 replies
cockneylass · 22/10/2017 06:04
OP posts:
babybarrister ·
22/10/2017 19:11
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