Apparently I'm entitled to some of stbxh pension but I'm confused about it all. In 10 years he never actually put my name on it or told them we were married either. I feel completely lost as to what I'm entitled to. My name isn't on the mortgage either.
Pensions are considered an asset alongside everything else - house, cars, savings etc. It's all added into the pot and divided between you. As part of the financial settlement you would get a transfer order on the pension. You can't take this as 'cash' though. It has to be reinvested into a pension in your name. You can however agree to take less pension if for example you'd prefer more of the house equity (because you maybe earn less and would struggle with mortgage), however you'd both need to agree this. HTH
He mentioned that he would have to take a loan out to pay me what I'm owed from the pension or that I wouldn't be paid anything until he takes his pension out. He said I could have everything in the house instead but it doesn't come to anything much at all plus there's not a lot worth taking or any value apart from the TVs . I'm moving out soon into a council house. He also says the equity would only cover the debt we have that is also only in his name. The loan he took out was before we got together and since then he has just been increasing and consolidating it throughout the marriage for home improvements and things. I feel like he thinks I'm unintelligent and won't know if he's ripping me off.
you need a lawyer to sort through his chinanigans, he is trying to pull the wool over your eyes in terms of the debt, mortgage and pensions. With a decent lawyer you will understand what you are entitled to and be able to work through negotiations without necessarily being put in front of your ex and have to argue it out
He won't have to take a loan out at all - that's total bullshit. It's also bullshit that you wouldn't be paid anything at all until he takes out his pension.
You MUST get legal advice here, because you need the formal notification that you are entitled to x% of his pension. Without this, his pension company won't be able to do anything.
I was awarded x% of my exH's pension as part of our divorce settlement. NOTE: make sure the agreement is in terms of %, rather than a fixed sum.
Exh ignored all correspondence from his pension company for 5 years. He totally refused to abide by the divorce settlement ruling or to facilitate it. It took me 3+ years to progress this on my own, but I did, and I succeeded because it was a legal ruling and the company was obliged to deal with it.
Because the agreement was for a % of his pension, when it was finally all sorted (still without his participation) I got £20k more than I would have done if he'd sorted it straight away. So he lost out big time (ha ha!). Serves him fucking well right.
DO NOT settle for anything else OP. A part of his pension is going to be worth far more to you than anything else. Do not let him persuade you that the house is worthless therefore you won't get anything. He is trying it on.