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Mediation / Go to Court - Advice Appreciated

(4 Posts)
Hardtimesahead Wed 18-Oct-17 11:56:21

Morning All,
I separated from my wife in Early 2016. We have 4 children together, of which 2 are now adults and 1 still living with her mum. The younger 2 live with there mum but spend every other weekend with me at my rented flat.

We where together for 23 years and have been married for 8 years.

For the first year of the separation I moved out but kept everything going for her and the kids, paid all bills, mortgage etc and ensured she had living money.

Eventually we both met new partners and agreed we needed to formalise the split and get the divorce sorted.

Divorce wise we have reached Decree Nisi and now both want the finances sorted before we progress to Decree Absolute with Financial Order and Clean Break Agreement.

And then the fun begins.

We are now in the middle of mediation but it seems to be failing ! Any advice would be greatly appreciated as the Solicitors all seem to want to encourage a full on fight.

The Facts
The House we own is in my name only but that was so we could get the mortgage through due to her having a poor credit rating. There is currently around 100k of equity in the house.

Neither of us having any savings and there is approx. 45k of household debt all of which is in my name.

She has never worked since we where together and has made no effort prior to or after the split to find a job.

I have issued a proposal to her and this is as follows.

1. We don't sell the house until she cohabits or all the kids are adults
2. The equity in the house earnt as of now is split 75% / 25% in her favour after the household debt money is paid back to me at point of sale.
3. I pay the mortgage
4. I pay her legal child maintenance but she gives me back or is deducted 25% of the mortgage payment.
5. Equity from now up to point of sale is then split 75% to me and 25% to her.
6. I have offered her £250 per month additional spousal maintenance for 12 months to help her find a job.

I believe this is a more than fair offer which is not easy for me to afford without help from my parents. In my view the alternative is we sell the house, pay off the debt, she gets full maintenance and a bit of spousal but then has the upheaval of leaving the family home and having to rent.

She is rejecting the offer ! claiming she wants 100% of the equity up to now and wont deduct the household debt. She wants full child maintenance plus a bigger spousal payment for 5 years and wants at least 25% of the future equity in the house which she will live in rent free. I think this is totally unfair but would be interested to know some thoughts / opinions.

Right now I am sinking and am worried I will either completely breakdown and lose everything or succumb to the financial pressure.

Thanks
A good dad trying to get on.

wobytide Wed 18-Oct-17 15:18:27

wages, pensions, childcare arrangements. Too many variables. With £55k equity and only one of you working it doesn't sound like either side can house themselves

babybarrister Wed 18-Oct-17 19:26:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsBertBibby Thu 19-Oct-17 08:38:38

Go see a second solicitor if you aren't confident of the existing one's approach. Or ask your solicitor about getting an advice from a barrister.

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