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Moving away

(21 Posts)
Tatam Mon 16-Oct-17 22:50:21

I'm looking to move approximately 3 hours from where I live, to move in with and marry my fiancé (we've been together for three years) I have a child still at junior school, who will start his first year of secondary school when we move. My family and close friends also live in the area I wish to move to. Apart from my ex (who currently lives four miles away and has contact with my son one night 9ish till the next morning and alternate weekends) I have no family/ support network nearby. I've found an outstanding school for my son within catchment of the home my fiancé owns. Am I likely to be given permission by the courts to move if my ex objects to moving my son.

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Phillipa12 Tue 17-Oct-17 06:35:25

I moved 270 miles from my ex when we divorced, i have 3ds's ages 1/2 and 7 at the time. I had no support where i was living and the reason for the move was to be closer to family, we now live in the same town as my dad, brother and sister. Ex did see a solicitor and he got told that he could try and stop me but in reality a judge would allow the move because of my reasons (moving closer to family). I must point out though that the boys see their dad eow and some holidays and the 5 hr trip is hateful, we meet halfway as things are very amicable, but the boys are knackered, they cant do weekend clubs and my now 3 year old has missed so many of his friends parties due to not being here that i have lost count. Ex is now moving closer, but its still 100 miles away so battling the M5 on a friday night is still going to happen.

Tatam Tue 17-Oct-17 18:02:46

Thank you for responding Phillipa 12. Your comments have given me hope that everything can work out. I’m glad to hear you are happy and close to your family. Fingers crossed...

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babybarrister Tue 17-Oct-17 21:04:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tatam Wed 18-Oct-17 00:04:42

Hello babybarrister, thank you for your comment. I absolutely agree with you. My intention is for my son to finish year 6 with his current friends and then move. We visit the area we intend to move too often and build his relationship with friends and my fiancé’s family up there. My family are about half an hour away and sleepovers takes place to build familiarity with their environment too. He also has his own room with his own belongings that are left there permanently. We intend to share the hornets to and from my ex’s to lessen the burden for all and have offered additional weeks ( half terms etc) to compensate the missing evenings. My son does not have a personal phone as yet, but it is our intention to purchase one to encourage additional contact with his father.

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Tatam Wed 18-Oct-17 00:06:34


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GypsieQueen Wed 18-Oct-17 00:24:38

I'm afraid my story isn't so positive. Like you I wanted to move about 3 hrs from my ex to be closer to family as I literally had no-one where I was at the time. Our daughter was around a year old. Even though I had good reasons for moving, my ex managed to get a prohibited steps order from the courts to stop me moving. I had to attend several court hearings over about four months where I had to demonstrate and provide written statements on how it would be in our child's best interests to move and how I would ensure she still saw her dad regularly. It was a horrid, dreadful experience and cost me several thousands in legal fees. I got permission to go in the end but it wasn't easy. I really hope your ex doesn't take you to court and you can work out contact arrangements by yourselves.

Tatam Tue 01-May-18 22:15:09

I’m sad to say, it seems that we are to make the same horrid court journey as yourself. Sick to death with worry, wondering what my sons father may have ‘up his sleeve’.

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thousandpapercranes Tue 01-May-18 22:29:51

All I can say is be prepared for a long very expensive battle. I hope you have a better relationship with your ex and it doesn’t turn into a mud fight like mine did. My case has taken 10 months, thankfully nearing the end now.

LarrytheFishwithFingers Wed 02-May-18 01:49:23

If my stbx moved 3 hours away (as they have talked of doing to be closer to grandparents who are not getting any younger) I would be devastated. My job will not allow a move, and protected hours would make anything but weekends very hard. At the moment I’m looking after dd for at least some of the out of school time 4-5 days per week and we are still living together. The future is far more uncertain.

Whoknows11 Wed 02-May-18 06:12:19

Hello, I am I’m the process of something very similar. 1st court hearing next week. I’m positive of the outcome as financially I can’t afford to stay local and my family and friends are where I would like to move to. Just hoping it all gets sorted soon.
My ex has put an application to the courts for full custody. All a bit strange as he works away a lot in the military. The threat of having my children taken away from me is awful and even more awful that their father can do that after walking away from them 3 years a go.
Hope it all works out for you x

Tatam Thu 03-May-18 06:34:51

You clearly put in a lot of love, time and effort Larry, far more than ‘the norm’. I hope all works out well for you all. My situation isn’t as amicable. However, I will not criticise/bad mouth my sons father, as who am I to judge. I genuinely just want what’s best -long term- for my son. Let’s see what the future holds for all of us.

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Tatam Thu 03-May-18 06:38:37

I would be interested to hear how you get on. Keep us posted please. X

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Tatam Tue 12-Jun-18 21:25:00

Court this week, I’ll keep you posted.!

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Whoknows11 Thu 14-Jun-18 06:20:56

Hope all goes well @tatam I have court next month for a similar situation. I’m dreading it x

octobersunshine Thu 14-Jun-18 08:21:36

I've been following this thread as I may have to move for work. Could someone explain the process for me? Do you need a court order to move? I had thought that if in England or Wales you don't need permission.

Tatam Thu 14-Jun-18 10:36:08

You will need your ex to agree with the move. If your ex doesn’t agree, then you will need to try mediation, as a court will not accept an application if mediation hasn’t happened. Good luck

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octobersunshine Thu 14-Jun-18 20:54:02

But do you need to apply to the court? What if you moved with minimal notice?

Whoknows11 Tue 19-Jun-18 13:19:53

@tatam how did it go?

Tatam Tue 19-Jun-18 21:12:19

As well as could be expected. Sons father will only accept a ruling from the judge and is not interested in solicitors opinions unfortunately. So two more court hearings to face and Son has to talk to cafcass (which I didn’t want). Awaiting dates...

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thousandpapercranes Thu 21-Jun-18 03:01:48

@Octobersunshine, No court order needed as long as you and your ex agree. If no agreement you’re looking at 6-10 months, Cafcass report depending on the circumstances and several hearings.

You could move with minimal notice but you run the risk of being ordered to return. As horrid as the process is it’d be far worse coming from a position without the moral high ground.

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