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HELP! What is the fair & right course of action here?

(15 Posts)
Lemonadelover Wed 04-Oct-17 21:28:06

My ex-partner and I were together for nearly 10 years. We jointly own a house together (both our names are on the deeds). He paid for the house outright when we moved in together.

During our time together, we had a child and I paid the majority of the bills (utilities, food, all clothing and shoes for our child and him). I worked and had an income during our time together (but was the main carer for our child) he did not have an income.

3 years ago, we split up and I took our child with me, renting a house while he has stayed in the house we jointly owned. He is still very much involved with our child and care is split between the 2 of us (60% of the time our child is with me, 40% with my ex-partner) although I am the primary carer.

We are trying to resolve the finances now. My ex-partner’s view is that the house was paid for using his money and although I am on the deeds, I am entitled to nothing. I have paid for at least £30k worth of repairs to the house (and have proof of this).

I am still working and am in receipt of working tax credit and child benefit. My ex-partner wants a share of this as he has our child 40% of the time, he thinks he should have 40% of the money I receive. He still has no income.

I have seen a solicitor who has said that I am entitled to 50% of the value of the house and could take him to court for this. I don't want to go to court.

He has been emotionally abusive since our split, bullying me to give him back what is “rightfully his’. Ever since we split, he has been pressurising me to tell him how much of the house I wanted. I suggested 25% and he demanded to know why I think I’m entitled to “his money”.

What is fair? I have to provide a home for my child but my ex-partner still states that as I left, it’s up to me to provide for my child. Details are vague as I’m sure he’s watching out for me here ☹

Racmactac Wed 04-Oct-17 21:35:08

What your solicitor told you. The legal ownership is 50%.
Either of you asserting a beneficial interest means going to court and will cost you.
Stop arguing with him and engaging in his shit. When the house is sold the Solicitors will send half to you and half to him.

Racmactac Wed 04-Oct-17 21:35:58

And tell the cocklodger to get a bloody job

Arion Wed 04-Oct-17 21:36:29

So you've supported him for 10 years, and he can't see why you want 'his' money?

If you're on the deeds, you're entitled to 50%, this is to house your child. The solicitor has said this. He is not entitled to any of the child benefit or tax credits, that is for the resident parent. He has DC less than 50% of the time, so he should be paying you maintenance for dc, not expecting money off you.

PigletWasPoohsFriend Wed 04-Oct-17 21:37:47

Were you married and what did it actually say on the deeds.

Lemonadelover Wed 04-Oct-17 21:50:31

Thanks for your replies so far, I appreciate them.

We were not married (but did intend to get married) and on the deeds, it says we are joint tenants and both our names are listed as the registered owners.

bastardkitty Wed 04-Oct-17 21:57:11

You can't make this person be reasonable. It's never going to happen. I wouldn't negotiate with an unreasonable person whose starting position is to give you nothing. Brace yourself for court and get the process started with a solicitor. He may get a solicitor at some point, get a reality check and make you a sensible offer. But I doubt it.

Lemonadelover Wed 04-Oct-17 22:41:21

Yes, I don't think he can be reasonable. It's all my fault and the sooner I come to my senses and sign over what is rightfully his, the better (in his mind).

He says he's seen a solicitor and that they've confirmed I'm entitled to nothing (I realise he's bluffing) and I need to stop trying to get my hands on his money and take responsibility for my actions smile

bastardkitty Wed 04-Oct-17 22:51:27

Very predictable. Put your fingers in your ears because every word will be a lie, as you obviously know. You don't have to give figures here obv, but consider the cost of the legal bill compared to what you might end up with.

Ttbb Wed 04-Oct-17 23:28:23

60% because you are taking care of your child 60% of the time plus whatever you have paid over the for your husband (50% of bills, spending money that you gave him etc).

butterfly56 Thu 05-Oct-17 00:16:27

You could easily rack up thousands in solicitors fees if you enter into a financial battle with this type of person which will wipe out what ever amount of money you are asking for as he will drag it out for years.

I think you have to be prepared to play the long game with this guy and do some research online about the type of situation you are in.
Keep your name on the deeds and don't give him any money.

Prepare a spreadsheet of all outgoings paid for by yourself with bank statements, credit/debit card statements, online purchases and any evidence you have of all expenditure paid for by you.

If you don't want to go to court at the moment the take a look at wikivorce website which gives a great deal of info on the rights of co-habiting.
You can also register a beneficial interest with the Land Registry.

Good Luck flowers

Fresh8008 Thu 05-Oct-17 17:05:48

If he paid off the house outright before you moved in, using his own money then he might have a right to he house. Certainly he has a case to be looked at.

babybarrister Thu 05-Oct-17 19:15:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lemonadelover Sun 15-Oct-17 21:24:32

Thanks for your replies. Babybarrister, no my solicitor didn't mention the Children's Act sad

bastardkitty wise words, thank you. Funny how you hit the nail on the head but don't know the man..

Butterfly56, thanks for the useful link. I have been compiling a spreadsheet, it'll be very useful in the future.

babybarrister Sun 15-Oct-17 21:36:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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