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Feeling pretty crap!(6 Posts)
My ex partner came over this morning to see our ds, we've only been split up for 3 weeks. It sort of happened during the heat of an argument, since then he said his feelings have changed for me and he no longer loves me. I asked him today if he was still happy with his decision and he yes with absolutely no emotion at all!
I think the things that bothers me is he said he started feeling this way when our ds was 1-2 months old (he is now 9 months) before we had ds there were no problems and I can't help feel that his change of feelings for me is linked to having our ds! It's too close in time! Too much of a coincidence I think!
Sorry this has happened. I suspect you're right but I'd move on (hard as this is) and don't look back.
I suspect you deserve better than this. My advice to you is to focus on yourself and your baby and you'll be ok. It'll take time but it'll get easier.
Some people don't like not being the centre of the universe and babies are very demanding. It's shit.
So sorry this is happening to you
Thank you, it is really shit! I miss him so much! Obviously I have to see him for the sake of our ds but I've told him he has to take him out now, he can't visit him in my home anymore! I've been going to see a counsellor to help me get my head around it, literally the week before he left we were talking about getting married and another baby!
His mum thinks the birth might have triggered something, it was quite traumatic and he saw the whole thing! Interestingly he said I while ago that he saw me differently because I'm a mum now!
It might well have triggered something but that's his shit to figure out. He might sort his head out, he might never do that. All you can do is keep your shit together. Having children really messes with some people's heads. It looks like your ex might be one of those people. One of 3 things can happen:
1. He never figures his shit out. You move on.
2. He figures his shit out eventually. You're happy for him but you've already moved on.
3. He figures his shit out eventually and you decide to give it another go.
For now, you just need to focus on yourself and your baby. Let him go. You'll be glad you kept your dignity. If he wants back in, he knows where you are. Right now it's about you.
I imagine you're really hurting. All I can say, is time does help. Be kind to yourself
His mum and his sister are concerned about him and want him to see someone but he's convinced there's nothing and I don't think he ever will! Yes I definitely need to move on and obviously my focus now is my ds which is why I think I'm not having a major meltdown. Seeing the counsellor is definitely helping. It was all such a shock that it's hard for me to get my head around!
It's really traumatic. It's ok for it to take some time to find your feet
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