Children of separation

[Chatty100]

I am really struggling to know if I am doing the right thing for my kids. I have been separated for two years and on the whole co parent very successfully. They are with their Dad 3 nights a week. I believe in routine and want to stick to it. My problem is that their Dad doesn't think the same and tells the kids that he thinks they should just be able to choose if they want to go to his on a night that they're with me. I end up being the Baddy that says no and one if my children is really struggling. The others are fine and go with the flow. All my instincts say I right to keep to routine but I just need some advice.

[scrabbler3]

How old are they? Mine are at secondary school and they make their own arrangements which suits us all.

[Rainbowglow]

It is a difficult one. I have been separated for a few years. Soon to be divorced. We split on very good terms which helped a lot but both agreed that routine and set days were best. As my two are older they phone their dad on non contact days and if they ever really need to see him they will tell me. It is not easy sometimes but a routine is key in my view as is being flexible ismf something major happens but your husband chopping and changing all the time is not a good idea. How old is your youngest? I feel for you. You are being put in a difficult position.