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Separation- did your friends support you?

(6 Posts)
inmyshoos Wed 23-Aug-17 21:57:31

After a long period of unhappiness I finally called it a day. Since then I have really discovered who my true friends are. The ones who offer support and understand exactly why it had to end. They offer no judgement and understand that at the end of the day it's my life, my choice and I wouldn't have left if I was happy or felt we could have worked through our issues. We'd had marriage guidance, I had tried with every fibre of my body to make it work but it just wasn't going to ... ever. I had become depressed living in my unhappy life with someone I couldn't get along with. It wasn't a good situation for anyone.
I have noticed however a small group who have taken stbxh into their bosom. A whole load of help being offered. Lots of 'good for you mate' comments on his fb pics of him enjoying his new freedom. One 'friend' in particular keeps telling anyone who will listen what a poor soul he is. How it's such a shame for him. It's breaking her heart blah blah blah. Has anyone else had this?
I have been (I think) very patient and as kind as I possibly can during our break up. We are STILL friends, I am helping in lots of ways to make sure he is ok etc. Although I am ok on the outside I'm at breaking point inside. I fantasize about running away. I just don't know how much more I can take. Being judged like this makes me feel I have to justify my decision. I can't imagine ever judging a friend like this. It's no one's business other than the people in the relationship/marriage sad I can barely bring myself to speak to this 'friend' because I know behind my back she is mouthing off about my life! Anyone else had similar?

OP’s posts: |

I split up with a long term boyfriend years ago. Found out that one of my friends was regularly chatting to him, telling him everything I was doing. It creeped me out a bit and I don't see that friend any more. I was upset about it at the time but now I'm just glad that I didn't waste time on a friendship that was obviously one sided.

IrritatedUser1960 Sat 26-Aug-17 14:39:01

Yes they all did. I only found out what everyone thought of him when he left. I was shocked by how many people disliked him.

pennydrops17 Sat 26-Aug-17 14:43:47

I saw close friends whom I trusted laughing and chatting to him on the corner of the street, validating him. The day before they'd been all understanding sympathy with the crap he was putting myself and children through. That hurt. It made me step back from them tbh.

People have such different definitions of loyalty.

NotSureIfiAmWell Sat 26-Aug-17 17:52:37

Going through it now too. My own friends have been great. Mutual friends not so much. I don't trust them to remain neutral and have discovered at least one has been less than neutral - not to my face of course.

LittleBooInABox Sat 26-Aug-17 18:01:08

My friends are great. But I don't expect mural friends to be involved. It's awkward for them. And I don't like the whole pick sides thing.

But yes you do learn who your true friends are.

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