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Think we need to separate

(7 Posts)
Skinnydecafflatte Mon 14-Aug-17 10:19:43

I'm on holiday at the moment only day 2 and it's really bought it home to me how incompatible I think we are. We are away with our two kids (7&4) in a foreign country (Trying to be vague). We have argued nearly non stop.

He's gets in a temper and then it continues and he brings up everything else that has gone wrong. we we're trying to sort out the next hotel booking and aksed me shall I book it, I hesitated and he asked why not but then just kept giving me reason why we should and not giving me a chance to answer. He always talks over me if I try and get my point across. He hates if he's wrong.
He's moaning that I'm not disciplining the children at times, and leaving it all to him. At home I spend the majority of my time with them and do most of it so it's not like I let them run feral. Whatever I do I can't win, if I don't tell them off, he moans at me for making him look the bad guy but then when I interact he says I'm taking over. I'm really rubbish at arguing and getting my point across and even now I'm finding it hard to explain but basically he's making me feel rubbish.

He's being really hard on the kids too and if I try and tell him this he gets angry and his way is the right way.

He's like this at home too. When he's in a good mood he's lovely and we get on and have mainly the same values but the bad moods are too common and I can't cope.

He's one that doesn't do a lot of the home stuff. A few months ago I was feeling really low and all I get is ' stop being so miserable' all the time.
I'm typing this one handed as a child lying on me and haven't great access to wifi so may no be able to reply.

I don't want my kids to come from a broken home but can't see this lasting. How the hell do we separate though? We can't afford to run two houses, we don't have family near by to go to/ get help from. Where do I even start?
I thought about counselling but he doesn't see he is doing wrong so how would that help? Also I'm rubbish at getting my point across, always think of things after the time.
Im worried about how it would affect the kids too as they do love him but I don't think it's healthy them seeing us argue and gin swearing at me so much.
Got to go, sorry for the ramble. I don't really know what to do, where to start.

OP’s posts: |
velocitygir1 Mon 14-Aug-17 21:53:00

I'm afraid I have no answers but just wanted to say you aren't alone and could of written some of that myself today also.

I hope you find the strength to do what is right for your children. I'm sat here also wondering wth do I do?!

Hope the holiday gets better for you and the kids.

Skinnydecafflatte Tue 15-Aug-17 06:49:58

Thank you! It's not getting any better, I'm trying to stay happy for the kids but I feel dead inside. It's only taking a little thing to put him in a strop and he's being quite had in the kids.

I just can't see how it will work though after, We can't afford to run two households

OP’s posts: |
OliviaStabler Tue 15-Aug-17 06:57:19

I'd try and suggest counselling. Maybe they could open his eyes to his unreasonable behaviour.

Skinnydecafflatte Tue 15-Aug-17 18:38:05

We've just had a talk tonight, I think we both know it's reached the end. We're try and keep a brace face on it for the kids but when we're home i think we're going to have to split. Can't believe this 'holiday of a lifetime' has become this. It's going to break the kids hearts and I don't know what to do.

OP’s posts: |
wilky23 Tue 15-Aug-17 21:24:26

I feel for you - my H and I are at the point of separating and we have no family nearby to support us. Likewise, we can't afford to run two households. It's heartbreaking, I'm still trying to process it all and when I try and think about how the kids will react I'm in floods of tears.

I don't have any words of wisdom, only that I'm right there with you, feeling the same pain and wishing it could have turned out differently. It will get better with time flowers

Hotwaterbottle1 Tue 15-Aug-17 22:27:37

Its amazing how you just manage. I thought there was no way we could manage separate households but after the year from hell sharing a house he moved out in April & Im actually better off. So much happier too.

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