Advanced search

General divorce advice

(4 Posts)
Divorcehelper Thu 10-Aug-17 00:26:01

A friend (no, really, it is a friend – I’m happily married for now, I’ll be back in 5/6 years for my advice!) is getting divorced and has no idea where to start and has some questions. She’s going for her free advice to a local solicitor on Monday but is naturally a little anxious and would like to have an idea of what she is/isn’t entitled to ASAP. After a google search I came across this place and would be really grateful for any help that can be given.

They’re currently living together in the same house and have 2 kids. She is happy for them to have equal custody as she knows how important it is that the children have equal access to both parents. He’s seeing if he can raise the capital to buy her out. They have 100k left on their mortgage and the house has just been valued at 325k. He offered her 100k all in to leave a few days back (prior to the valuation and even tried to get her to sign something to accept that offer) after finally being resigned to the fact that she wasn’t going to change her mind.

She has literally no idea on the money front, he’s been a fairly controlling partner and she has just been given £80 a week cash from her wage (she picks up £2800 a month after tax!) and the Credit Card to do the shopping. She guesses they have savings and no loans but has no idea.

She earns her own wage and works for a company, she doesn’t get shares or have a saving plan through work, just a pension. He owns his own company and is a graphic illustrator, he’s the only employee, she’s only registered as the secretary. He makes money with contract work and sells through ebay and different sites like that.

Basically, he handles all the financials and always has, she has no idea of savings accounts/shares/other investments and likewise has no idea if they have any loans etc (she hasn't signed for anything and only knows that they put a further 20k on their mortgage 1 year ago to build a studio on their property that he works from) similarly, the money made from online sales all goes into a PayPal style wallet that she knows nothing about.

Basically, as she has no idea what they do/don't have she is worried that he is going to hide money and she's not going to be able to get anything but half of the equity in the house. She knows they must have savings somewhere and knows there are shares but just doesn't know how much. She also knows that there must be a large sum of money in the business account, but the business is in his name and she doesn't know about anything, she has always left everything to him, been his secretary legally and looked after the kids so he could work the hours that he does.

Will he be able to hide/transfer money or will the courts go through all accounts/find the shares etc so that everything is split equally?

Also, he has requested that they are separated and not divorced, what's the difference between these two? She just wants an entirely clean break with no responsibility for any of his financials from now on.

Thanks in advance for any help provided!

OP’s posts: |
AuntSallyLovesWorzel Thu 10-Aug-17 12:55:11

Hi, she didn't sign did she your friend ?
She needs to be firm and not listen to what he wants, she has dc to consider, sounds like he is trying to bully her as he has total control of the money.
Solicitor asap. Nice to have a friend to help.
It will be a divorce, and if there is huge amounts of money, she can claim sm.
She must be very careful what she agrees to before the solicitor, very careful.
There will have to be for disclosure and if he does not disclose is will be very serious for him.

Divorcehelper Thu 10-Aug-17 20:19:41

Thanks ASLW - No, She didn't sign. She also has been careful not to even verbally agree anything. He came back to her today with a 30% increase on the initial buy-out offer which she said she couldn't accept until she had spoken to her lawyers. He freaked out and said "I'm in no rush to sell the house then and refuse to sign anything for the house to be put up for sale".

If he continues to refuse to do this, what can she do? She doesn't want to be around him, can the courts force him to agree to sell?

Thanks for the financial advice, I have passed that on only issue is, she won't ever know if he has disclosed the full financials and how will the court?

OP’s posts: |
AuntSallyLovesWorzel Thu 10-Aug-17 20:42:59

Just to say I am no solicitor, but from my experience it all will be dealt with once the balls rolling.
My case is totally different so I would not like to say anything that might be wrong.
He will freak out, make sure she keeps a record of Everything .
Sorry I cannot help anymore.

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in