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Holiday with STBXH. Madness!!

(12 Posts)
notonmynelly Wed 26-Jul-17 18:16:22

We booked a holiday aboard a year ago when we were on the slippery slope but pretending everything was ok.

Fast forward a year we are in the middle of a divorce. We are amicable most of the time as we are still living in the same house and have two small children.

The holiday is for almost 3 weeks and I really don't want to go. The thought of having to spend all that time in the same space as him is making me really anxious. He isn't abusive or difficult but I just think it's weird to go when we are divorcing. I don't want to play happy families and a part of me is worried he is hoping this holiday will suddenly make me change my mind about divorcing which it won't (I'm divorcing him)

Our friends will also be there staying down the road from us and I don't want there to be an atmosphere when we spend time with them.

I also don't want the kids to pick up on atmosphere.

I think we should go half each. So either I go and he stays with the kids or vice versa.

Is this an unreasonable idea? I've said this to him and he just says well if it gets too bad we will book you a flight home. Oh right then 🙄

OP’s posts: |
Mrskeats Wed 26-Jul-17 18:17:42

I did the holiday with ex thing. It was torture

Rainybo Wed 26-Jul-17 18:22:02

I did it too for the sake of DC. It was an endurance test.

MsGameandWatching Wed 26-Jul-17 18:23:08

I went away for sixteen days with my ex, we'd been fairly amicable till that point. It was horrific. He got pissed all day every day, after all not together any longer so why should he control himself now? Not that he ever had. Then half way through he left for something supposedly work related and never came back. We were on an Island 10,000 km from the UK and I had to see the holiday out and get myself and two young children back to the UK. The whole experience was stressful beyond imagination and I had a depressive breakdown on my return.

notonmynelly Wed 26-Jul-17 18:24:15

Ok this is proving my point. ''Tis madness!!!!

I need to suggest this week each idea and not let him bully me into going the whole time. It will be horrid for everyone.

OP’s posts: |
notonmynelly Wed 26-Jul-17 18:25:41

Cross post Msgameandwatching sorry to hear that 🙁 flowers

OP’s posts: |
AllThatIsGoldDoesNotGlitter Wed 26-Jul-17 19:42:51

I'd worry the DC would get confused and get false hope that Mummy and Daddy might get back together.

And if your ex thinks the holiday will change your mind about him, that will surely create an unbearably awkward atmosphere.

notonmynelly Wed 26-Jul-17 19:49:29

Yes I agree. I think it gives mixed signals to the children.

Argh just need to bring the subject up without it turning into an argument

OP’s posts: |
luckiestgirl Wed 02-Aug-17 07:45:12

What did you decide OP? I'm currently camping with STBXH and our two young DC. Going well so far but it's only really day 1

BigGreenOlives Wed 02-Aug-17 07:49:47

Week each sounds like a really good plan

JaffaCakesMum Wed 02-Aug-17 20:00:05

I did it last year - me, STBEH, DD1(17), DD2(15). If really was horrendous.

notonmynelly Wed 02-Aug-17 21:00:52

I've booked a flight back for half way into the holiday, which makes me feel a bit better!

We can't even manage a car journey without bickering so pretty sure a week in it's going to be pretty tense!! I do worry what the kids will think of me not being there the whole time. Arghh so confusing.

OP’s posts: |

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