2 years separation as grounds for divorce

[FabulousUsername]

H and I are living separately (4 months) but we've owned 2 properties prior to that. Trying to start an amicable divorce now but neither wants to be the one to allege unreasonable behaviour (plenty of reasons both sides I'm sure). Can we claim we've been living separately for 2 years and go for 'no fault' divorce? Not technically true but who would care?

[NikiBabe]

You can live seperately under the same roof. Say if you'd had seperate rooms etc no longer lived as a couple under the same roof.

I'm not sure id risk lying if it hasnt been 2 years as you have to provide details and sign statements of truth. Its contempt of court to knowingly sign a statement of truth when the facts arent correct.

[NikiBabe]

Let me rephrase i wouldnt risk lying. At all.

[FabulousUsername]

Thanks Niki! Just wondering what they'd do if we lied...make us remarry? It's a shame there isn't an option that doesn't include unreasonableness...

[NikiBabe]

You wouldn't get your divorce granted if they caught you. Contempt of court can leave you with a criminal record.

As I said you can be separated but still living under the same roof.

This must have been brewing longer than 4 months?

How long have you been apart from each other but under the same roof? Things like separate bedrooms, seperate social lives, etc. You may find you're not far off 2 years.

[FabulousUsername]

Thanks...we've been 'apart' for longer than that, separate rooms, etc, but did live in the same house and occasionally socialised together, went on holidays etc but didn't act as man and wife so to speak, more like estranged flatmates.
Why would the court actually care, do they check poll tax, etc?

[NikiBabe]

That sounds like enough but although im a.lawyer its a few years since i did family law.

You'd have to detail the seperate lives but your divorce lawyer can advise you as to ins and outs.

[NikiBabe]

You can still count as separated even though under the same roof.

[FabulousUsername]

Many thanks Niki. I'm looking into it online to see if it's ok to do it that way!

[FabulousUsername]

I mean, I've found a form and now considering. H thinks that if we haven't had sex then we were effectively 'separated' but that's just gripe, not sure if it would stand up in court!

[MrsBertBibby]

If you're having holidays together you aren't separated. If you obtain a divorce improperly your decree can be set aside. Any subsequent marriage will be void for bigamy.

Just wait 2 years or use behaviour.

[Rainybo]

You'd rather be had up for contempt of court than read a few lines about how you did this, that and the other then sign the paper, drink some wine and be done with it?

[sparechange]

Why can't you just find grounds to use unreasonable behaviour?
It doesn't have to be DV or alcolism. I know someone who listed 'an unwillingness to do DIY' as one of their grounds
Once it's done, it's done. The financial settlement isn't affected, you don't have to declare it on your CV.
No one need ever know the grounds but you don't have to start lying to the courts about your living arrangements

[NikiBabe]

I missed the holidays bit.

Just use behaviour. No one cares really, it wont affect the settlement.

[FabulousUsername]

Thanks all. He's left it up time to sort out and I've got plenty of reasons for unreasonable behaviour but it just seems confrontational whereas we've finally agreed, mutually, that we'd like to part amicably. But if I make the reasons as bland as possible that might be the best way forward.

I guess I get the final say, then! As he's leaving it to me! I'll remind him we can always wait another year if he doesn't agree my reasons.