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Does this sound acceptable(3 Posts)
The background is that my wife petitioned for divorce at the start of June on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour. I disagree with the reasons she gave.I had discovered she was having an emotional affair with an old school friend four days previously. She readily admitted this and I was going to divorce her but she petitioned first.
The AP's wife found out about the affair and chucked him out of the marital home. He and my wife have met up several times since - she had readily admitted this. He lives 80 miles away and is estranged from his own daughter.
We have put the house on the market but are still cohabiting. This is obviously not good. She has recently started to spend more time at her 'mums' .
I have just today discovered that the AP is now living in the same city as us and has already been introduced to our oldest kids.(both late teens). I was angry about this but she just seems to think it is nothing to do with me.
My STBX seems totally comfortable with introducing a man she has known for less than three months to our kids. I think this is totally inappropriate and is causing distress and confusion.
I would have thought she would have waited at least 6 months.
I can't really stop her doing this but would welcome some thoughts and advice.
My ex did this. It's blown up in his face big time.
My kids were teens and very confused. Now they're pretty angry with how he handled it. The hardest thing to get your head around in this situation is that you have no control over your ex's behaviour. All you can do is support your kids when it all comes tumbling down.
Try to be calm, do the right thing by your kids, don't waste energy trying to tell your ex how to behave (she won't listen anyway) and just be there for your kids.
It sucks watching an ex hurt your kids but as long as they have one stable, loving parent to fall back on they'll come good.
Oh and don't slag your ex off or try to explain her behaviour. Just listen to the kids and give them space to talk about their feelings. Try to keep things 'normal' lots of box sets, pizza and ice cream.
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