Can't get over the end of my marriage

[Babs200]

Just that really. It's been 3 and a half years and I'm still struggling to accept it's over. To cut a long story short; pregnant in Jan 2014 after a miscarriage. I had also moved to the countryside with my exh to live next to his family to save money. He told it was over when I was 12 weeks, simultaneously he had started a new job where he became close to another woman. She was married and subsequently became pregnant. I was very jealous. My exh still wanted his 'family', but wanted his freedom. I moved to a city near his parents (somewhere we had planned to move as a family), to make him happy. Found out last September that he was actually having an affair with said married woman, which started when I was pregnant. He declared she was the love of his life, but she has decided that she wants to stay with her husband and make it work (I found out in Sept, hence it all coming out). I can't think of another relationship, I'm a full time mum. Ex lives with parents, very hands on with kids. I'm so depressed and lonely, I loved him so much. He wants to still have his family; holidays, Xmas, birthdays etc, but I found out he was dating someone and it was hell. I'm so stuck, I know I'm still attractive (apart from my post pregnancy belly 😢) but other men I'm afraid of. My exh is a mixture of being nice and vulnerable to being so angry. I don't recognise him anymore or myself.

I can't understand why I'm holding onto him when he treated me so badly.

Thank you

[LittleBooInABox]

Hugs Hun.

Didn't wanna read and run, I have no advice beyond be kind to yourself. It will get easier.

Sorry advice is naff!