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Is my ex's solicitor being unprofessional?

(21 Posts)
RoseNarene Fri 14-Jul-17 16:42:38

To say that I'm pissed off is an understatement.

Because of the emotional abuse that my ex has been inflicting on my 4 year old, I removed the children from the care of my ex (I had been forced into a 50/50 arrangement) in order to protect them. For the last 6 or 7 weeks I've been living with my parents.

My ex has gone to court to get a child arrangement order. Because my solicitor has become incredibly expensive, I'm in the process of getting Legal Aid. My ex's solicitor knows this.

So that's the backstory... he's what he's done.

Firstly, he sent an email to my solicitor at 6pm (after close of business) on a FRIDAY asking me to reinstate contact between my kids and their dad at 8am the next day, and made specific reference to the fact it was Fathers Day on Sunday. My solicitor didn't pick the email up until Monday, so I certainly didn't see it. I don't know if they're going to use it against me, but still.

But even more worrying, is that I haven't had the court papers yet. They should have been sent to me by now but they weren't because the Court didn't have an address for me. My ex knows where I am but clearly didn't provide the address. Plus he has email addresses and phone numbers for me. Even so, I gave my ex's solicitor my address last Friday, and still no papers have arrived - and the hearing is on August 7th!!!!

It was pretty horrible finding out the court date when CAFCASS called to do their safeguarding check. She was very surprised that I hadn't had my papers yet and suggested I ring the court. So I did - and found out that my ex's solicitor is trying to bring the date forward!!!

So my fear is that they are trying to prevent me from having my legal aid representation or prevent me from preparing all my documents. Or, at the very worst, they are trying to stop me from turning up at all!

What do you guys make of this?! Any solicitors out there who can tell me if this is normal or unprofessional? Or anyone else with more experience in this kind of thing? Maybe I'm just innocent and naive but I would have thought the guy would conduct himself in a professional manner and this seems anything but!

Thank you x

OP’s posts: |
RoseNarene Fri 14-Jul-17 18:09:57

So my ex's solicitor has now EMAILED me the papers, which he could have done ANY TIME DURING THIS WEEK but decided to wait until HALF PAST FOUR on a FRIDAY

And that's not the best part - the document says my ex was the "main carer", which he bloody wasn't!! We broke up on Valentine's Day - I started a job working TWO DAYS A WEEK on February 1st, whilst he was FULL TIME. He's such a liar!!!

OP’s posts: |
babybarrister Fri 14-Jul-17 18:23:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RoseNarene Fri 14-Jul-17 18:37:49

I am eligible for legal aid on the grounds of emotional domestic abuse.

OP’s posts: |
babybarrister Fri 14-Jul-17 22:09:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RoseNarene Sat 15-Jul-17 09:41:57

Yeah I already have. I know I qualify for it. Just waiting to actually get it.

OP’s posts: |
Properjob Sat 15-Jul-17 09:47:32

Hi Rose just a word of encouragement, I'm no legal expert at all but the judge should be impartial and ensure that you are treated fairly. Speak freely to them. I wish you the best of luck flowers

RoseNarene Sat 15-Jul-17 12:45:29

Thank you! I can't bear the thought of the children being taken away from me. It's really getting me down sad

OP’s posts: |
Justhadmyhaircut Sat 15-Jul-17 12:51:06

When you get the cafcass report please please go through it very thoroughly with a friend firstly with a pen and paper to list anything that isn't correct. . Then go through it with your solicitor. .
After a 4 year contact case the senior cafcass officer in my case admitted he had based his whole report on information from my exh - ie bullshit - even though he was supposed to be impartial. . They aren't above being challenged so make sure you do if necessary. Good luck.

ziggy1986 Sat 15-Jul-17 13:26:43

What is wrong with sending you the papers at half past four on friday? That is a perfectly reasonable time to get an email.

I think you are directing your rage at the whole situation at the solicitor.

RoseNarene Sat 15-Jul-17 15:53:27

Thank you justhadmyhaircut.

Ziggy, I haven't had an issue with his solicitor until now. The problem with him sending the papers at that point is that it makes it very difficult for me to organise representation as solicitors don't operate over the weekends. This means I have less than 5 days to do my response and I haven't even met my legal aid solicitor yet. Plus, he's had these papers for over a week and chose not to send them to me until now. You really don't see what's wrong with that?

Don't worry, I have plenty of rage to go around!!

OP’s posts: |
MrsBertBibby Sat 15-Jul-17 18:12:39

Solicitors often send emails at that kind of time because that is the time of day at which their typist brings them in to be checked before sending. You don't need someone wandering in with bits and pieces 20 times a day, it is very distracting.

whattodowiththepoo Sun 16-Jul-17 04:15:16

Are you sure about the legal aid entitlement? Take everything babybarrister says very seriously.

Bellaposy Sun 16-Jul-17 04:58:09

I agree with previous posters that you're misdirecting your anger towards the solicitor. The solicitor has to act on their client's instructions so if their client says they are the main carer, they have to take those instructions. If they are being told that you have stopped contact for no good reason then of course they will want a hearing as soon as possible for their client. It sounds like this is an initial hearing in which case there is probably no response needed before hand and the Judge will timetable statements and Carcass reports usually at the hearing.

A word of caution - if your ex was having 50/50 contact and you pulled that suddenly and you aren't able to provide a very good reason why, it could reflect badly on you. DV will be no reason at this stage because you have allowed contact to happen up until now.

Good luck flowers

MrsBertBibby Sun 16-Jul-17 08:34:49

DV will be no reason at this stage because you have allowed contact to happen up until now.

Not true.

rightwhine Sun 16-Jul-17 08:40:56

You need to control this rage and be iceily calm or else you will be seen as irrational and not be taken seriously.

Why did you stop the contract? Have you got good proof?

rightsofwomen Sun 16-Jul-17 09:20:34

Please check the legal aid situation.

rightsofwomen Sun 16-Jul-17 09:46:26

just I didn't see the cafcass report until the day of the hearing, before we went into court.

RoseNarene Sun 16-Jul-17 14:07:02

I think a lot of people here are misunderstanding me.

I'm not a stupid person. I direct my rage places like MN because there are no consequences doing it here and I thought I'd get some sympathy. I haven't directed any rage elsewhere. I've been sensible and calm in all arrangements. I'm a professional and I know how to conduct myself in high stress situations.

I stopped contact because my ex was causing my daughter distress by saying I was nasty and that I wouldn't forgive daddy and plenty more things like that. Both women's aid and the NSPCC advised me to take action for my daughter's welfare. He was using them as a weapon trying to turn her against me and I wasn't going to let him do that to her any more.

Yes, I DEFINITELY get legal aid. In a few weeks I'll be getting income support but I also have evidence of emotional abuse from a doctor.

OP’s posts: |
rightsofwomen Sun 16-Jul-17 15:11:36

I think it's the fact you will claim IS which makes you eligible for LA.
I also had doctors reports and police reports but w/o a caution or arrest I thought I was not eligible for LA.
Maybe the rules have changed.

RoseNarene Sun 16-Jul-17 16:32:14

I took my doctors letter in and they said yes that's fine you qualify

OP’s posts: |

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